my colourful life

seal up

2011-01-18T00:10:00.000+08:00

I'm making a promise. a seal up promise. i'm going to seal up my heart.. the next girl whom i'm going to fall in love with will not live pass 30yrs old... i'll never ever woo another girl ever in my entire life.. I vow to do n will make sure i stick to this promise.

Sealed and Witness.

(will i be able to live with it? or am i just making a fool out of myself?)

MOVED

2010-03-05T22:58:00.002+08:00

Moving to NEW PLACE... http://newbornkenny.blogspot.com/

dear "john"

2010-03-05T01:19:00.000+08:00

went to watch dear john with butt... very confusing movie... but overall rating was it just touch me... some part of the movie u could just put urself in tt character's shoe.. . u'll just wonder y... y issit so true..

the ending wasnt really very wad i expected... but still it makes u bleed... couldnt get myself to cry during the movie.. wad a FAIL! wanna make myself sad for the whole movie.. but i just got to understand 1 thing... u rather get hurt then to see the other party get hurt... u rather keep it to urself then to say it out... it's sometimes better tt way... to shut up.. n let it sink into u...sink deep into u... let it be sth tt will never be known... let it be sth tt only u urself know the answer...

if u say tt 3 words out... u know u meant it... but how much weight does it carry? how much does it meant to tt special some1?? if u would rater know... the truth hurts... n the answer would rather be disclosed... never to be known... written on a piece of paper n burnt away...

Dear ____,

I miss you... I really do...

Love,

Kenny

deep inside somewhere

2010-03-03T00:42:00.000+08:00

deep inside somewhere is telling me to just move on with it n travel far far away from this place... but another voice just tells me not to due to some reasons...

as for now... i would really wan to travel... i wan to move away from this place... i'm getting sick of it... real sick.. i wan to disconnect from this world... this internet world... cyber world...

see the world n explore... at the same time help... tt's wad i really wan to do... or issit so?

for now... i've nth to lose already... i've nth left to be a burden of.. i've nth to be crazy for... no idol, no dreams, no things... nth.. empty...

just a shell here.. with no idea...

p.s. i bless u truly from the bottom of my heart n may happiness be with you always n smiles on ur lovely face... from a friend whom will always be there for u thru thick n thin

wad does it meant to u??

2010-03-01T21:01:00.003+08:00

wad does it meant to u? how do u define it? Love. 1 word.. that can link up to 28 meanings.. which of it does it bring to u??

Love - a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

Love - a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

so many more... just dun know which to use...

do i really love her so deep tt i just couldnt let it go at all? am i so deeply in love that i cant stop thinking about her at all? am i able to move on without her ard? everytime i ask for focus n strength to concentrate.. i'm granted with full thoughts of her n the great times we had together.. i wan to keep my mind off her but i cant.. i just wish tt my memory would go off just like tt... i dun rmb who u r... n i'm just a complete stranger to u... we never met, we dun know each other at all..

issit too much to ask for? sometimes we asked is He the Great One playing with our life? is He so bored that He just wan to see me misery? however some look at it this way, He knows tt i can make it thru cause He knows that i've the capability to do so.. which side would u be on?? the look on the bright side or blame it on others if u can??

i feel like abit of both... sometimes i just wan to cry it out n shout... letting the rain pour on me n wash me... wash me clean n awake... at least after tt i know i'm loved someway or another..

ppl r sick of me talking about it... ppl r sick of seeing me this way... ppl r sick of me tt they rather walk away from me... it's just how u take things... i couldnt take it because i cant bear to... i'm not willing to... i never lost it... but... i had no choice... no choice but it's God's will.. He wants me to move on.. He is trying to force me to.. but somehow i always move n stop.. is there some1 willing to pull me along till the day i can move on by myself? will there be some1 willing to spend their time trying to pull me out of this mess? is there such a kind soul out there?

Friendship, Relationship? which is more important?? would u keep a friendship n lose a relationship or had tt relationship rune and friendship seems so unclear to u.. is there a way to keep both?? if u r living in earth n taking in oxygen as ur primary source of living.. the freaking answer to u is NO! NO CHANCE IN HELL U CAN GET TO KEEP BOTH!!! tt's the fact... accept it... u either lose 1... or both...

Cant bear to lose it? u just have to be the thick skin 1... but will it be gd? it had been stated tt ppl felt better without u ard n they r much more relieve about telling u all the things u need to know n thy need to say... so?? u still wan to be there?? u dare to be there??

having to know some1 u love so dearly is leaving u n u never wanted it to end is never a gd feeling.. if not for those mistake, there might still be chance but it just hurts u even more whn u think of the times u spend together... the things u told each other, the promises, the lovely moment... but it just ended.. as gd as a knife slowly moving across ur heart.. it just doesnt want to stab n end ur life.. it just move ard u slowly... letting u feel the cold n sharp blades..

tears r ard ur eyes but u just couldnt shed a tear... not tt u dun wan.. not tt u wanna prove tt u r a man... u just couldnt do it...

sick now, but who cares? the 1 u love dearly cant be bothered about ur life... cause y? ppl have other much more important stuff to worry about... seriously need a helping hand to pull me out... i've less then 48hrs...

God, I believe that you are planning something special for me.. I believe so..

wth? am i seeing the truth??

2010-02-28T01:37:00.001+08:00

We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can't imagine it's true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we've done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into ACCEPTANCE.

saw this from somewhere... how true can it be?? i mean... i've been thru all... for those ard me... i guess u should know it better...

dun know wad to write

2010-02-26T00:44:00.003+08:00

I've no idea wad to write... but this is the song tt can actually express my feelings.. other then tt... i really dun know wad else to say already... I'm too lost n too unsure to do anymore talking...

"You're Beautiful by James Blunt"

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful, You're beautiful,
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,
As I walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful, You're beautiful,
You're beautiful, it's true,
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

random note

2010-02-22T23:19:00.001+08:00

Pure Random...

"Why bother when the one you loved dearly no longer cares about you?"

milo can

2010-02-22T02:13:00.003+08:00

thx to butt... it's 1 of the things to keep my head off her... it's 1 of the thing to help me focus on the coming papers... i just wan to share it out... =))

I've edited the following story to make it seems better in presentation... tsk tsk..

You are thirsty. You need a drink badly. There stand a vending machine full of different kind of drinks. All sorts of drinks for you to choose, but you just want to have this special particular drink. No other drinks caught your attention, only that very special drink.

You purchased it. You drink it. You love the drink so badly that you don't want to let it go at all. Holding on to it so tightly that you think this will be the drink for you. For the rest of your life.

One man came along, he bumped into you. You lost grip n dropped the can of drink. Drop the love of your life. It has landed on the floor, dirty, muddy floor. Would you still want to pick it up and hold it like before again? It has been stain with all kind of bacteria, germs and other unknown stuff. Would you still wan to hold it? Keeping it with you again?

What would you do?

You looked back. You really want to hold it again. You really want to drink it again, enjoying the moment just like before it was being dropped. But it will no longer be the same as before. That can of drink will never be the same as before.

There came along a uncle. He picked up that can, he put it together with the other can he has found. He send it for recycling and yes that can of drink has a new life again. But will you be able to purchase it again? Will there be a probability of you purchasing the same can of drink again? It will only be purchased by someone else and that someone else will repeat the cycle or maybe he will treasure that can for good?

And for you? What will you do? Never drink again? Or just purchase another can of drink and move on with it?

How would you choose?

(special thx to butt for spending 1hr listening to me nag and venting it out.)

laugh out loud

2010-02-20T02:09:00.004+08:00

Kenny wan to laugh... Kenny wan to laugh out loudly... y?? cause he finds himself silly... he should have believe in his friends all along... n not trust his own gut feeling... it doesnt always apply to everything in life... u have gut doesnt mean u have the brain... hahahaha!!! u have the brain but no guts to do it also no point... so yeah... He just wan to laugh...

Everything is just so clear now tt he has no idea wad he wants to do anymore... time to colour up his life again... enough of the black grey season... time to brighten things up... smile... laugh... joke... u wanna crack with me?? hahaha.. feel free... i'm seeing things more clear already i guess...

wad is life all about??? i'm still searching... but for now...it's about serving my parents n God.. wad's more?? i'm still looking... am i able to find the 1 tt will really treasure me as a friend n accept me whn i'm in my worse? as the saying goes.."if you cant handle me at my worse, you dont deserve me when i'm best."

i'm blessed with friends but i'm blind by 1 word.. Love..

p.s. i'll just remove the promised i made... the stupid promise of not falling in love... silly kenny...

wad's happening???

2010-02-16T20:37:00.001+08:00

wad has happen?? wad am i doing?? issit worth doing?? should i give it a last shot? am i just doing for the sake of doing? or do i really really love her so much tt i'm willing to do almost anything for her?

confused? lost? not willing? am i just trying too hard? i really wish to get things back on track again... but do i have friends whose willing to support? whose willing to listen me out?? whose willing to be there for me no matter wad happen? friends? who can drop wad thy r doing n just listen to me... heard me out... lend me a hand... give me courage... help me face it... is there?

ever since then.. i've always been lost... i've no aim... no sense of direction... dun feel like doing anything.. studies? i'm just forcing myself to complete this last few lessons... exam? i'm really forcing myself out... but it's just not working... how much do i miss her? i can give up wad i have to just see her... anything tt i've ever own... love her? i asked myself tt many times... n the answer will always be the same... I wan to share my happiness with her... but i guess i couldnt give her any... cause i've lost my happiness.. my laugh.. my smile.. my passion for life.. who do i live for now? wad do i live for now?

felt bastard.. who dun? if u see wad i'm doing... wont u?
felt lost.. who wont? if u have the kind of friends i have...
felt cheated.. why not? if u know that u have given the best u could..
feel nth.......

is all the planning worth it? NO? wad's the reason??? yes? do u really think so or r u just trying to make my day?

true friends? do i ever had?
true love? is this the one?

i really wan to do it.. but i dun have the courage.. i dun have the support... i've nth...

no difference...

2010-02-15T23:48:00.002+08:00

Day 1 chinese new yr.. nth much to be done here.. just wake up... wait for time to pass.. until close to evening time...sis came over then mj abit... tt's all i do... how interesting for my chinese new yr...

Day 2.. same.. wake up in the morning nth much.. about noon went into jb to visit grandma.. long time never seen her... things changed... she's doing fine.. just getting weaker due to age...
asked if she's interested to come visit in sg... she wanted to wait for me to get married then come in -.-" how lame! anw... plan to bring her in b4 i leave for work.. want to spend time with her too... =S oh wells...

chinese new yr is just another holiday with more money to come in for me.. nth special at all... not even this yr... just hope tt this yr will be a gd yr for me...

misses badly...

2010-02-13T22:50:00.003+08:00

where could she be?? how is she doing?? is she enjoying this new yr?? i miss her badly... i really wan to msg her... but just couldnt gather the courage anymore... i no longer have the courage... i no longer able to face her... but i miss her...

Happy Chinese New Year to u.. if u r seeing this.. =))

how long? how long more??

2010-02-11T23:19:00.002+08:00

i tried... it didnt really work out i guess... i guess all i could do is just to watch from the back or by the side... i can never be there for anything... things r moving.. i guess... i've moved on with it... i guess... i know i still couldnt let it go...but.. i had to accept the fact tt things r not working out like the past... things has got to change...

i've lots of plans... plans to change things... plans to make things better... but how will it be done? how can it be done? help from others?? i dun know... ppl say it isnt worth it... but i can bare to let her go... i still miss her... miss her badly... i wish to hug her too... no matter wad... i still love her...

weird awkward feeling..

2010-02-09T22:51:00.002+08:00

after so many things i've said n done... i've failed to regain her back... failed to keep any friendship... failed as a person, failed as a human...

is everything i done wrong?

has i not think of the big picture?

have i been selfish?

I love her... i'm willing to give up anything I have for her... my life? my everything? i just wan to give her happiness, joy, love... and most important of all care...

it's sth not taken lightly...

2010-02-06T17:28:00.002+08:00

friends? interesting word to be used... they still dares to call me friends... rather interesting... which part or wad have they done to show it? let's see... dun give a crap about it? dun feel like talking? dun wanna meet? hmm... tryin to patch things back but get treated like dirt or not being treated like human at all...

thinking tt this guy is crazy n needs some expert advices... wow... wad a friend u have got there... giving up on u... wow! tt's a wow wow!! n did i use the wrong word? "WANG EN FU YI"

of course u dun owe me anything... u get the meaning of the words right 1st... it's being ungrateful.. taking things for granted... thx! thx for like wad? making me felt bastard?? oh thx!!! of course u r busy... thx for tt also...

talk talk talk... but wad? ppl talk nia... dun wanna move... dun wanna do anything... of course... i'm the 1 still have to move it... move on with my life... u had been thru the same shit as i have... yaya... of course... u r wiser... u r mature... wow~~ average of 2 result no matter wad is better then mine... of course 2 brain think much higher level then i do.. bottom line? u 2 wanna be the next love bird so be it... i'm just another pile of shit to u guys anw...

nothing hurts more then realizing that she meant everything to u but u mean nothing to her...

2010-02-02T21:03:00.003+08:00

nothing hurts more then realizing that she meant everything to you but you mean nothing to her...

silence is golden

2010-02-02T00:23:00.003+08:00

keeping quiet, not asking for much... wad more can u ask for? u've already been there n done that... the fact is the truth, the truth will always be the truth... the truth is hard... n if u cant take it... u just have to accept it... keep quiet n accept the fact tt ppl just dun wish to help... just accept the fact tt ppl r selfish... some ppl may bastard u... some may just come be nice with u... either way, thy were afraid of losing... losing sth tt thy can gain from u...

whn thy dun need u... thy just dump u off.. cause u r no longer useful... wad can u do?? keep quiet... silence is golden... the more u say, the more fault ppl pin point at u.. the more u speak, the more ppl get irritated.. so? shut up n accept the fact n truth.. true friends... how many true real friends do u have?? who would be there for u whn u actually need them the most??

u run ur own pace of life... u can expect ppl to wait for u.. u cant expect ppl to lend u a hand... u just got to move on with it no matter wad... it sux but it's life.. sometimes u think of it as a test... sometimes u think of it as just pure bad luck.. but in actual fact... it's wad u do n say reflect it...

"action speaks louder then words..."
"an empty vessel makes the most noise..."
which is more true??

to be frank.. sometimes keeping silence is better then blasting it out... cause u never know who can u trust... who can u believe or who can actually understand ur trouble...

how issit like?

2010-01-29T23:58:00.002+08:00

lesson was short today.. didnt do much in sch i guess... i tired to clear things up... but i couldnt gather the courage... i could just use some lame excuse... by teaching sth which i guess i will never have any idea wad's happening... but it didnt turn out as expected... i just couldnt face it... all i could do is just walk away...

coward u can call me.. i tried too hard already... true, i may have nth to lose already.. i've already put in so much. wad's there for me to lose somemore? my face? my dignity?

u dun rate ur friends.. ya... u dun.. but ur friends rate u... tell me if thy dun... treating all equally? dun bull.. thy will rate u according to where u stand in their life... for once u were very important.. thy cant bare to lose u... next moment.. u r just not the 1 i'm looking for... i know wad i wan.. wow.. interesting isnt it?

another tried to help... but it doesnt seems like it at all.. matters just get worse.. y bother sharing whn u know ppl cant do much about it... n whn the actual party doesnt wan to solve it... n always claims tt thy have their own 'strong' stand... so wad can I, a no man stand person say?

went to ask about sailing.. guess i should start saving now... b4 i get paid which was my dream course in the past... due to the pay check... now it shatters cause it's not as easy as wad u think it would be... i've nth much to lose anw... i guess i'm willing to give up everything i have in sg for 10yrs? or maybe less?

am i ready for the life? the game of life...

done, wad's next?

2010-01-29T00:32:00.002+08:00

fyp is done... completed... left report to conclude n end of story... after so long... i can take a break from it i guess...no more worries of unable to complete the work...unable to summit report etc...

i've less 1 thing to busy about or reason to stay in school already.. let result be result... no point thinking about wad has been done or not...

next will be final exam...my last exam in sp... last 3 papers... to be correct is 5... will i be able to make it or will i break myself up? 5more weeks to go... 5 more weeks to end my life in sp... will it be???

wad issit?? wad issit tt i've done wrong?

2010-01-25T23:07:00.002+08:00

talking to me is so hard...writing to me is worse... facing me is like slowly killing urself...

solve the awkward situation... in the end nth is solved... things just got worse... i just want things to be normal like before... i never wanted to let go... i never changed my heart... but... it's just isnt time... so whn? whn is the time?

chance? no 2nd chance? must it always turn ugly?? my heart will always be with u...

not worth telling me... ok... not worth writing to me...

accept the fact... move on with my life... get a life... get busy... easy to say then done.. wad can i do? offended ppl.. i've lost everything... who else can i turn to?

how will things be like??

2010-01-24T00:08:00.002+08:00

I had a chill out session with my ex old classmate... well old cause he is older then me.. yeah... supposed to be a drinking session but in the end, i didnt get to drink..

had a long chat... alots of crappy 1... end of the day.. i just get craps n stuff...

it has been set... after this sem, no matter wad i still must make it thru.. i must get is done with... no matter wad this cert is wad i'm here for... everytime i tell ppl about wad i wan in my life.. but everytime i ask myself again n again... whn will i settle down? when will i found some1 tt i can really love n share my things with...

everytime i found 1, either i couldnt gather enough courage to tell her how i felt about her or i just get rejected... of course ppl always say i'm still young.. some say it's puppy love... others will just claim tt i dun know wad is love... so wad is love to u?? wad is the love that u r looking for? wad issit tt i cant provided?

i rmb, last wed.. this insurance agent.. came n talk to me about saving insurance... i wasnt really keen on it... so after her much talking about it... i just rejected it.. as i feel tt it isnt time... then she asked about my future... well.. i told her i wanted to go sailing for a few years and then come back to singapore to settle down with the family business.. sailing for the experience as i just feel tt coming right into the family business after so much studies just isnt the right time at all... i'm lack of working experience... other then working for my dad... i had only worked for a few part-times.. been to lots of interview.. almost all i've pass... but just tt i cant commit to them... other then my family time.. i just cant seems to commit to working during my part-time days..

Sailing, i've to put down everything in singapore n travel around the world.. wont be home for days, mths or worse yrs... am i really able to put down everything n travel?? for now... i've no girlfriend.. i've not much relatives in singapore.. parents r going to retired, planning to travel round the world... siblings have their own family... i'm the only 1 left.. am i willing to drop everything n leave singapore??

"what do u see urself in 10yrs time down the road?"
during 1 of the experiment for fyp.. i was asked this question... 10yrs ago.. while still in primary sch... we wanted to be fireman, superman, batman.. policeman.. all the so called hero in life... 10yrs later... i'm in marine engineering... a so called impressive job whn ppl heard about it... their 1st reaction.. "woah!" i get tt always... no matter how i put it... it's always the same reaction... so wad will i be doing 10yrs later? will i have a family? will i be enjoying my life? will i be happy like 20yrs ago during primary sch time.. pass each day like nth...

'if u fail to plan, u plan to fail..'
i've planned my route... but.. issit wad i really wan or am i just smoking myself out of the question.. to stop ppl from asking me more questions n prevent the situation from getting awkward?

life.. if u could see ur future... would u wan to do it??

random

2010-01-10T11:28:00.002+08:00

totally random.

as i was watching tv... i randomly switch channels.. n i saw this channel.. who got broken up with her bf.. n the things r just wad most ppl had told me.. is this wad it meant by sign? asking me to move on with my life??

time to get things moving...

how many more days will it still be???

2010-01-09T22:33:00.002+08:00

things r supposed to be better... isnt it?? somehow it just doesnt feel right... everything is just gloomy, dark, secret, unclear... etc. but life must still move on... it's hard... but i had no choice... choices arent make by me alone... choices have their own consequences.. wad choices do i have to make to have this kind of consequence?

ppl maybe there.. but their soul arent..
ppl may say it.. but do they mean it?
ppl may have done sth to hurt u.. but do they know about it? were they on purpose?
ppl may sound nice... but are they real?

so many thing... so many questions... i'm in search for an answer.. an answer which may never be told as this is life... n things r certainly unexpected.. unknown... unclear... u never know wad's going to happen the next moment u step out of ur house or the moment u wake up everytime.. u just never know wad's going on...

how long, how many more days, how many more mths, how many more yrs.. do i have to live with this... how long? who knows.. next moment a phone call.. n i had an heart attack... i'm gone from this world... who knows... i was walking, n i just faint.. no1 totally cares (which is wad most singaporeans would do). who knows....

inner peace... soul searching... reflection... i need to be discipline to do tt everyday from now on.. i seriously need to get a life n get over everything tt has happen in the past.. i had a bunch of wonderful brothers.. but all were history. every1 has their own life to move on.. every1 has their path set.. every1 has their own purpose in life... wad's mine? i have closes buddies, friends, bro.. some r there for me whn i really need them... some r just there to make up the numbers... some.. dun really care... to those tt r with me n make up the numbers.. from the btm of my heart i thank u all.. really... I thank you.. sincerely..

no matter wad happen.. wad's infront of me.. wad obstacles is there to stop me.. i must face it n move on with me life... for every sunny day is a new day...

Sunny no more...

2009-12-25T15:19:00.003+08:00

Sunny no more... all gloomy n dark... things r dark...unknown, unclear, not sure.. wad ever i do is wrong, wad ever i say is bad, wad ever happens i deserve it... i'm better off alone... she's better off without me ard... tt's the fact i guess... nth can beat tt...

n the truth is... i'm not the only driver ard on earth... i'm not the only guy who can drive... i'm not the only person who can do midnite driving... i'm just like every person... there's nth special about me at all... which she has every reason not to fall in love with me... she has every reason to leave me... in tt case... i'll never keep long hair again... reminding myself tt every inch of me has to be cut off... i've to start afresh... i've to learn to be a real person... i've to let it go... i've to move on with my life...

my eyes will not be filled with life... my voice will not be filled with songs... my soul has been long gone... tt's the life of it... tt's how i'm gona move on...

11 more day but suckish 1

2009-09-17T12:53:00.002+08:00

it's only 11 more day to go... n i got a phone call... though wad would it be... just a helpline call... the voice of it wasnt very clear.. it got cut off now n then... tried to piece out everything i can to help...

help out the phoneline, tried to return call... 1st time, didnt get thru some female voice in some unknown language... i hang up n call again... same female voice again.. by then i got another phone call... helpline caller called again... i explain wad i did n wad i know... i miss out 1 detail by asking them to update the system.. my service was no longer required n i got an extra scolding... for calling whn ppl hang up the call as thy dun wan to pick it up... fine... I'M Sorry... i didnt realise the price to pay... thought it was supposed to be important... but then i got scolded for doing extra..

how suckish issit? try putting urself in the shoe of full of things to worry about n things to do... at the same time u miss the 1 u love dearly... but wad u get in the end is just a load of junk scolding... not appreciated feeling... fine then... should have know tt being nice n gd doesnt pay at all... nth pays...

11 more days... should i be happy? or should i be.....

waiting for u

2009-09-14T00:36:00.001+08:00

14days to go... i'm waiting... =) waiting for ur return... cant wait to see u... i'm dying over here... day n nite... it goes by so slowly without u ard... time just tick so slowly... =(( haizz

wishes??

2009-07-13T00:07:00.003+08:00

it just sux whn things just happen in a flash... nth gd will happen in a flash... n creates a wonderful memories... things just needs to be sourish n hard...

1 after another it just feel like tsunami... it happens n a flash n leaves shit loads of ugly stuff behind... after tt some problems like sickness and other unknown stuff... things just never end..

how long can this actually last?? how long can this still be maintained?? wad is the best choice?? wad r the other choices??

wad have i done? wad am i going to do?

true love

2009-06-22T18:34:00.002+08:00

for who is willing to take the test? the test of waiting, the test of determination... how much or wad does it take to pass it?? how i wish i can dig out my heart.. how i wish i can undo the past.. how i wish things werent like this... all this wishes but none come true... it's said tt whn 1 falls in love, all his unused wish will come true... am i in love? my heart tells me i'm... but my mind doesnt... who should i listen to?? my heart is with her.. but she doesnt wan to accept it.. cause it hasnt ripe... for being in love, wad does it pay?

it is painful... but a process all must go thru... i must be willing to stay strong n be certain to keep my focus... at the same time having an open heart to accpet things.. management, flexible, determinaton... all it takes is just 1 mistake to screw everything up... i screw up my past... i screw up alot of things... it's time for me to adment it... it's time for me to prove tt i'm really truly wan a simple n lovely partner to be with... having simple meal, hanging out just like normal couples... if God believes me like i do to Him.. I just wish for His strength... His mighty strength to be within me...

a break i guess

2009-06-17T23:49:00.002+08:00

maybe i need a break... maybe i dream too much... i place too much high hopes... it's time to take a break... i guess i should keep myself away for awhile... being an unimportant person... i'm not needed anw... even if i'm away nth would seems to be bothered... so wad the hack...

where am i?

2009-05-13T23:34:00.002+08:00

where am i? where do i stand?

am i being used or already used?

whose there? wad is their purpose?

do i wan to be love or do i wan to give love?

naive...

2009-05-12T01:01:00.002+08:00

such irony... having such a build body... yet the mind is so naive... should i be laughing at myself or should i just pity myself?

it's kinda expected or predicted? wad will happen or things turn out?? am i just digging my own grave knowing wad's gona happen?

i guess it's time to face it... no point holding on sth tt u dun know who does it belong to... it hurts but sooner or later it has to be done... maybe it's fate... maybe it's pre-plan? maybe my name should just start with "I".

wad is my goal? wad do i wan in my own life? wad is my purpose of living? where do i belong? who am i actually?

do i really wan to let it go? am i willing to do it? my answer/question will be "Do I have a Choice?" even if i do... how many are there for me to choose... i guess it's pre-plan by me... i asked if i'll screw my yr3 if i ever told her about it... i asked wad will happen if she rejects me... i asked wad will i do whn i'm in sch... i asked.. but no answer...

trust, it's too big/heavy word to be use...
believe, too sensitive...
understand, never did at all... no point using...

am i able to do it?

2009-05-10T02:14:00.002+08:00

we r of different world.. we r of different interest... we dun have common liking... am i forcing myself too much? have i fallen into it too deep? i know i love her... but... i dun know... i dun know wad/who am i loving?

am i able to give her the happiness? am i able to give wad she's looking for? sometimes i wonder to myself... wad do i have to offer? wad issit gd about me? if u think tt i'm emo.. i'm not actually... i'm just wondering... wondering wad would it be like in the future... how would things turn out... i know it's abit too early to talk about it... but... will the word "Possible" come into the picture? are we actually matching? i dun wan to be the 1 tt disgrace her... i dun wan to be the 1 tt's dragging her...

am i changing for her to love me or is she changing for the sake of me? wad is relationship about really? does states really mean so much? isnt bf n gf just a name?

What hurts the most, is being so close.
Having so much to say, watching you walk away.

trying too hard...

2009-05-02T02:02:00.002+08:00

am i trying too hard?? or am i just pushing my luck?? am i doing too much?? wad is limit? am i over doing things??? it's kinda hard to manage it... but i just couldnt help it... am i actually over doing it?? should i take 5steps back?? am i too rushy?? i'm really confused...

i'm sry but... i dun know... do i know too much or do i talk too much?? am i just not tt perfect after all?? am i just not ur type of guy? am i just the passerby which will never be able to be the 1 walking down the rest of the road side by side with u? wad should i be doing right now?? wad am i consider right now?? who am i actually?? where is the real kenny?? whose the real kenny? how does the real kenny looks like actually?? what will he be doing right now?? this isnt me... i wont be like this... i should be having my own stand... i should be able to walk the road by myself even whn ppl disappear... i wont be so crazy over... i wont be doing all this... i will be the slacker which never cares about anything... happy go lucky everyday... wad has i become?? am i changing for the person i love?? am i changing for the sake of her???

why... why am i doing this.... why am i becoming like this... wad has gotten into me... wad am i doing.... i wanna get a grip of myself... but... but... it just drives me crazy... it drives me nuts... it drives me... F***!!!! WAD IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGHH!!!! this is wrong... so wrong... crap... I screwed myself... totally screwed myself... some1 please chop off my hands, some1 please cut my eyes... chop off my tongue plz... some1... do it for me.. PLEASE!~ It the only choice i have currently...

I've got to end this... i've got to stop myself... i've got to know my limit... i've got to do sth about it... i've got to.... i've got to.... arghh... i'm aimless already... i've no aim... i dun know wad am i after already... wad is my goal... i lost my purpose... i lost my goal... i'm lost....

I've lost the old kenny....

best day i ever got...

2009-04-25T12:45:00.002+08:00

unless i lost all my memories... i'll rmb wad you guys did for me... n did to me... got surprised by the usual gang... hahaha... camping at my house... Zzz how creative thy can be... i'm touched with everything u guys did... =)) thank u all...

some other stuff cannot be talk here... so ya...chaos!!

tired but worth while

2009-04-22T08:40:00.002+08:00

shag... ytd went running... it has been 7 long week ever since i ran... so tired... so shag... lucky sch only starts at 10 today.. hahaha.. so can wake up slightly late... muhahaha...

i didnt went running alone.. had a friend to come running with me.. i gave warning b4 i bring ppl to run ok... i did warn her about the distance we r going to run... until she ran about half the distance... she kinda like giving up... hahaha.. dun blame her at all... the distance is crazy... lolx!!! y i choose tt route? hey...tt's wad u call running if u really wanna run... hahaha...

i gotta find a new way to keep myself awake while driving.. if not i'll suddenly doze off... which is pretty scary... but i guess i'm able to make myself awake... it just takes abit of determination... n the driving power to go home fast... hahahaa... =X maybe i'll just chocolate bars n extra sweets n red bulls to drive my blood streams... pumping more blood into my brain cells... tsk tsk... prepare to go sch liao..chaos~

picture say a thousand words, song means everything

2009-04-18T15:41:00.002+08:00

only 1 song can describe how i feel right now...

Cai Hong - Jay Chou

Na li you cai hong gao su wo
Tell me where the rainbow is

Neng bu neng ba wo de yuan wang huan gei wo
Could you still give me back my wish

Wei shen me tian zhe me an jing
Why is the sky so silent?

Suo you de yun dou pao dao wo zhe li
All of the clouds are running to me

You mei you kou zhao yi ge gei wo
Is there a mask for me?

Shi huai shuo le tai duo jiu cheng zhen bu liao
Recalling too much of the past words can accomplish nothing

Ye xu shi jian shi yi zhong jie yao
Perhaps time is a kind of antidote

Ye shi wo xian zai zheng fu xia de du yao
And also the first poison I'm taking now

Kan bu jian ni de xiao wo zen me shui de zhao
I could not see your smile, how can I sleep well

Ni de shen ying zhe me jing wo que bao bu dao
Your silhouette is so close to me, yet I cannot embrace it

Mei you di qiu tai yang hai shi hui rao
Without earth, the sun can still circle around

Mei you li you wo ye neng zi ji zou
Without reasons, I also can walk alone

Ni yao li kai wo zhi dao hen jian dan
You want to go away, I know that is very easy

Ni shuo yi lai shi wo men de zu ai
You said dependence is our obstacle

Jiu suan fang kai dan neng bu neng bie mo shou wo de ai
Even if we break up, but couldn't you not receive my love

Dang zuo wo zui hou cai ming bai
Assuming I'm the last to understand

You mei you kou zhao yi ge gei wo
Is there a mask for me?

Shi huai shuo le tai duo jiu cheng zhen bu liao
Recalling too much of the past words can accomplish nothing

Ye xu shi jian shi yi zhong jie yao
Perhaps time is a kind of antidote

Ye shi wo xian zai zheng fu xia de du yao
And also the first poison I'm taking now

Kan bu jian ni de xiao wo zen me shui de zhao
I could not see your smile, how can I sleep well

Ni de shen ying zhe me jing wo que bao bu dao
Your silhouette is so close to me, yet I cannot embrace it

Mei you di qiu tai yang hai shi hui rao
Without earth, the sun can still circle around

Mei you li you wo ye neng zi ji zou
Without reasons, I also can walk alone

Ni yao li kai wo zhi dao hen jian dan
You want to go away, I know that is very easy

Ni shuo yi lai shi wo men de zu ai
You said dependence is our obstacle

Jiu suan fang kai dan neng bu neng bie mo shou wo de ai
Even if we break up, but couldn't you not receive my love

Dang zuo wo zui hou cai ming bai
Assuming I'm the last to understand

Kan bu jian ni de xiao wo zen me shui de zhao
I could not see your smile, how can I sleep well

Ni de shen ying zhe me jing wo que bao bu dao
Your silhouette is so close to me, yet I cannot embrace it

Mei you di qiu tai yang hai shi hui rao
Without earth, the sun can still circle around

Mei you li you wo ye neng zi ji zou
Without reasons, I also can walk alone

Na li you cai hong gao su wo
Tell me where the rainbow is

Neng bu neng ba wo de yuan wang huan gei wo
Could you still give me back my wish

Wei shen me tian zhe me an jing
Why is the sky so silent?

Suo you de yun dou pao dao wo zhe li
All of the clouds are running to me

You mei you kou zhao yi ge gei wo
Is there a mask for me?

Shi huai shuo le tai duo jiu cheng zhen bu liao
Recalling too much of the past words can accomplish nothing

Ye xu shi jian shi yi zhong jie yao
Perhaps time is a kind of antidote

Ye shi wo xian zai zheng fu xia de du yao
And also the first poison I'm taking now

Kan bu jian ni de xiao wo zen me shui de zhao
I could not see your smile, how can I sleep well

Ni de shen ying zhe me jing wo que bao bu dao
Your silhouette is so close to me, yet I cannot embrace it

Mei you di qiu tai yang hai shi hui rao
Without earth, the sun can still circle around

Mei you li you wo ye neng zi ji zou
Without reasons, I also can walk alone

Ni yao li kai wo zhi dao hen jian dan
You want to go away, I know that is very easy

Ni shuo yi lai shi wo men de zu ai
You said dependence is our obstacle

Jiu suan fang kai dan neng bu neng bie mo shou wo de ai
Even if we break up, but couldn't you not receive my love

Dang zuo wo zui hou cai ming bai
Assuming I'm the last to understand

You mei you kou zhao yi ge gei wo
Is there a mask for me?

Shi huai shuo le tai duo jiu cheng zhen bu liao
Recalling too much of the past words can accomplish nothing

Ye xu shi jian shi yi zhong jie yao
Perhaps time is a kind of antidote

Ye shi wo xian zai zheng fu xia de du yao
And also the first poison I'm taking now

Kan bu jian ni de xiao wo zen me shui de zhao
I could not see your smile, how can I sleep well

Ni de shen ying zhe me jing wo que bao bu dao
Your silhouette is so close to me, yet I cannot embrace it

Mei you di qiu tai yang hai shi hui rao
Without earth, the sun can still circle around

Mei you li you wo ye neng zi ji zou
Without reasons, I also can walk alone

Ni yao li kai wo zhi dao hen jian dan
You want to go away, I know that is very easy

Ni shuo yi lai shi wo men de zu ai
You said dependence is our obstacle

Jiu suan fang kai dan neng bu neng bie mo shou wo de ai
Even if we break up, but couldn't you not receive my love

Dang zuo wo zui hou cai ming bai
Assuming I'm the last to understand

Kan bu jian ni de xiao wo zen me shui de zhao
I could not see your smile, how can I sleep well

Ni de shen ying zhe me jing wo que bao bu dao
Your silhouette is so close to me, yet I cannot embrace it

Mei you di qiu tai yang hai shi hui rao
Without earth, the sun can still circle around

Mei you li you wo ye neng zi ji zou
Without reasons, I also can walk alone

Ni yao li kai wo zhi dao hen jian dan
You want to go away, I know that is very easy

Ni shuo yi lai shi wo men de zu ai
You said dependence is our obstacle

Shi huai shuo le tai duo jiu cheng zhen bu liao
Recalling too much of the past words can accomplish nothing

Ye xu shi jian shi yi zhong jie yao
Perhaps time is a kind of antidote

Ye shi wo xian zai zheng fu xia de du yao
And also the first poison I'm taking now

Ni yao li kai wo zhi dao hen jian dan
You want to go away, I know that is very easy

Ni shuo yi lai shi wo men de zu ai
You said dependence is our obstacle

Jiu suan fang kai dan neng bu neng bie mo shou wo de ai
Even if we break up, but couldn't you not receive my love

Dang zuo wo zui hou cai ming bai
Assuming I'm the last to understand

Zzzz wad can be worse..

2009-04-10T01:04:00.002+08:00

wth... i officially screw up my final yr... timetable is a flock... fyp grp flock... gems flock... wad a flock yr... jam pack timetable... crappy lessons... Zzzz... prepare to die liao.. anw coming to last week of ITP.. woohoo!!!! ending Ending... payday coming soon... so look forward to how much am i earning again... no OT this time... just basic pay... lolx... tt's rather boring but.. ya... hahahaha...

i need to find a hole to bury myself.... keep myself inside....

so close... just need tt extra boost....

2009-03-23T00:19:00.002+08:00

after so long of MIA i'm back to blog... had been working these few weeks... busy weeks... ITP (attachment) was in place... had afew overnight job... veri xiong... after knock off i've to go back n help my dad... but today i'm not gona blog about my work.. it's just too boring... i wanna cry out loud, i wanna cry with tears... i wanna slap myself for being such a coward...

went out to do some window shopping... need to know where can i get the stuff i planning to get... so ya.. met her n afew of my friends to go out... went to eat n had afew free trip shopping... didnt really do much... no movies or anything special...

after tt she goin back for dinner... but my other few friends wanna go play 'L4D' some zombie game... so ok lor.. send them to play 1st then send her back... if only time could stop for me n her... wanted it to last as long as possible... but it couldnt... upon reaching her house... i have to wait for her cause she went up to collect a book to pass to me... cause some1 borrow from her.. n i on behalf borrow...

she came down n wanted to get some snacks... so i tag along with her to get snacks... went to look for her favouriate snacks... thn walk her back home... this is where i hate myself... i could have actually ask her... i could have actually held her hand... i could have actually ask her to hang out alittle while more with me... but i just didnt have the courage.. didnt have the topic to pop it out... y... y does it always have to be this way... it sux to be me... so many things could have happen... it was the correct moment... it was the right time n only chance.. but i blew it up... i totally blew it up... it just sux to be me... it sux n it sux to the max...

confused, mix feelings, unclear

2009-03-01T23:42:00.002+08:00

didnt talk much for the whole day... i dun even know wad mood am i in.. am i in bad mood or am i just simply sick of it... i'm in a mix emotion state i guess... does it kill to just smile? Yes... does it kill not being able to go out with her? Yes... does it kill not being able to see her? wad u think about 7weeks not able to see....

issit just a polite reject? or issit just me being too possessive? she aint my who anw... y should i be so bothered? she doesnt even know about my feelings towards her... so wad's the big deal about she not being able to be with me?? so wad's the big deal about not being to go out with her? she has her own activities also... she has her own life to live too...

went to town area to play some games with friend... but doesnt really cheer me up... killing zombies n trying to win the game only... nth really entertaining... get lost in sg road... my normal routine... eat dinner... come back home... now printing letter... prepare for tml's work... so my 49days of working life start tml... 49days of not able to see her, not able to chat with her... not able to hear her voice.... nth seems to cheer me up anw... not even mango pudding or mango ice kachang... dun even mention mango ice-cream... cause nth will make my day bright again... it's covered with dark clouds... pouring non-stop.... with the wind blowing... guess i'm most likely turning into 'iceman'

memories

2009-02-28T14:47:00.004+08:00

has so much fun ytd... it was the class bbq organized by my poly classmates... didnt did much actually... just help out in food n abit of transport ba... hahaha...

met up with dan, my funny cute over grown baby classmate... hahaha... suppose to go for lunch.. but didnt felt hungry anw... so just drove ard... until big boss, adelina, called.. so went to pick her up... thn we went to bbq wholesales to grab foods thn to bedok to get bbq items... car was pack with stuff.... went down to ecp... set up with the help of some classmate to move those things...

after the move those stuff to the pit.. some went off to rent bike... left me n dan there... we both laugh at each other n start up the fire... hahaha... we are the 1st few to be eating.. lolx... use my classic method to start up fire... more then 1 fire starter in the middle.. n start the fire big... hahaha.. it's the fastest n easiest method...

after start the fire, i gotta rush down to pick up sam... then rush back again.. i'm basically running about... hahaha... didnt really feel tired until i reach home n slp... lolx...

just regred not doing 1 thing during the bbq... forgot to take up my cam to take photos... =(( siann!!! oh well.. maybe next time i guess...

getting over...

2009-02-20T20:11:00.002+08:00

it was only last yr... i had a crush with this young girl... but it was over whn things turn sour as time pass... i was having a hard time trying to get over it... but i eventually did anw...

almost 3yrs ago.. i had the heaviest crush with this beautiful girl in sch... the cream of the cream among the crop... but i still had to get over it eventually... y? got rejected duh...

after such hurting incidents... now another 1... another 1 tt almost killed me mentally... it's a mind game in relationship... u either have it sweet or have it head spinning... she's not as beautiful as 3yrs ago tt girl... but she's sweet looking, well organized, perfectionist, smart... actually almost all the girls i like r smart... oh well...

previous few actually took me awhile but i didnt have much emotional problem as compare to now... well.. it's from wad i feel... maybe it's not accurate at all... maybe all r equally the same.. but it really kills me this time.... issit because of my age? older u get the more emotional u get??

"pop the question... if not u will never know it..." it's easy to say then done... it may be a 50:50 chance... but it is still weird as the question is being asked... taking it slowly... ya... who dun wish it to be? the distance is already killing.. the silence is slowly torturing... i dun ask for much... just able take a decent photo, have a decent outing, nice decent friend jokes... additional will be able to send u home... able to lend u my jacket whn u feel cold... the extreme will be able to hold ur hand n walk u down the road... hug u tightly protecting u from the cold....

i still have 2 more papers to go... n now i cant seriously concentrate... i seriously think i'm gona screw up again this time... all i wan is just to pass... n go up to yr3... once there i'll find ways to fight back again... i believe i can reach a gpa of 3 somehow... know us being together seems impossible... but i'm willing to give it a shot... a shot for me to remember before i end my schooling life... dun even know whn will my next sch days be here again...

from the bottom of my heart, i'm deeply crazy over you i guess... you might just be the destiny... or maybe not.... is chance on my side this time round?

element of surprise

2009-02-14T23:05:00.002+08:00

fire, water, earth, gold, wood... the 5 elements tt rule the earth.. too harsh to use rule... tt runs the world.. hmmm... different ppl has different elements... each element also has it's own characteristic...

had my slack time today... n was switching channels... switch until discovery channel... n saw this show about water... it's so common ard us but we r lack of them actually... clean drinkable water r hard to find... we uses techology to get water from sewage, seas, anywhere tt's possible to get...

it's such a compicated element tt can save u or kill u.... y? human r made up of 70% of water.. i think so la.. cant rmb the percentage already should be ard there... but ya... without water we cant survive at all... but water can also kill u by drowning u... flooding crops, capsize boat... so many things thy can do... thy also provides energy to us by running turbine...

if only i was water... able to be soild, liquid, gas... no matter wad happen also can withstand the pressure given to it.. y didnt i have this kind of ability... all i can do is just avoid it... avoiding everything tt's coming... i like her but i dun dare to tell her... i wanted to sms her... but didnt have the guts to press send... let's not talk about calling...

wad kind of common interest we shared? how am i going to know? 1 thing i know for sure... we walk different type of life... i walk the route tt makes a big detour being able to see ppl from all walks of life... nice, crappy, mean, hackcare, almost all colours of life i've seen... i just wan to travel n see the world... would she like to backpack with me to see the world?

ytd went out with 'bro' didnt expect will be so on to go out.... so went to holland V 1 veri special location i dun know where issit but i know it's there... so we drove down... n start hunting... n it's really at a location we didnt expect... corner of the street... the dessert there... oh man... i got shock when i place it inside my mouth... surprise after surprise... never fails to amuse me... ok... 2 desserts, 2 drinks, 1 side dish... guess the price... =D cost us up to $60 for this no so filling but veri nice meal... tt will soon be my next hang out area other then then usual prata area which is starting to bored me... maybe only whn i'm unhappy u'll find me there... if not... dun think i wanna make myself suffer financially love the ambiance there also.. >,< seriously feel in love with tt place...

why?? why not??

2009-02-09T22:17:00.002+08:00

Looking out at my window... i could actually see the brightest moon i ever seen in my life... if only i could touch it with u... or watching it with u...

today is the last day of chinese new year.. no more gambling for me anymore.. i didnt get to gamble much anw.. didnt really enjoy this new yr at all.. all i did was note making, playing facebook, looking at ppl's new yr pictures, stuck with the 4wall surrounding me... this is how it will be this coming sat also... have to prepare myself for the coming exam... but i just couldnt get the mood in... i kept drifting away...

i would either await for the green icon to be shown on msn, or look into facebook for any updates... it's totally no life at all.. i'm like so dead already... felt like yr 1 tt time.. but this time round worse... i've totally lost it.. i've fell in love with some1 whom i shouldnt have..

she has this sweet looking face, soft gentle voice, not very tall nor very skinny... she has the mind of a businesswoman, independent lady.. things seem to be possible ard her... it's like the motto "just do it"
chatting with her will totally make my day.. crapping with her seems so enjoyable... anything to do with her will just make my day...

does she knows about me having such a huge crush on her? guess not...
can i let her know about me having this huge crush on her? guess not...
even if i told her about it, will she accpet me? guess not...

why this negative thinking?? well.. why not? I haven been veri successful in dating a girl, nor have i been or hold a girl's hand... who would wan to hold a sweaty palm? i dun even enjoy having it...

there's a name to this psychological feelings... a name which i dun even know how it is spelled.. i could just predict wad would happen n how it would turn out...

keeping it inside me kills... but tell out just kill both parties current relationship... guess i would rather go crazy and not let her know about it... dun wan more ppl to get hurt over such sensitive stuff... valentines' day coming, i had plan to bake..but i've to drop the idea due to lack of time n pressure given via the past CA i've scored... Arghh... how worse can my yrs of poly be? can i just get over the r/s thingy n move on alone?? must i really have some1 ard me to let me feel comfortable n to love me? (if u r talking about parent love... u r reading the wrong blog... seriously get a life...)

Destiny, are you my destiny??

different feelings same time....

2009-02-07T01:05:00.002+08:00

both happy and sad... happy cause i think we r starting to know more about each other which seems like sth good to start with... sad cause either i think i'm not gd enough to be by her side or i'll suffer a high chance of being rejected... either way it kills..

being rejected the most will be having difficulties seeing each other, either 1 of the party will keep a distance.. which is always the case... but at least she knows how i feel about her...

not gd enough... hey come on... i know my own limits...wad kind of ppl suitable for me n wad r not... let's not destory others dream for own sake... if u know u r not gd enough, dun put urself into the firehole n burn urself...

sick, sian, moodless...

2009-02-01T23:32:00.002+08:00

for 1 moment i'm excited n hyper over it... next i'm super sian n has no mood in doing anything at all already... said things tt i werent meant to say... but things r done n cant be undone...

for days i cant slp at all... took me more then 2hrs to get into slp n my memory is getting worse n worse... totally dun have study mood to kick start my revision.. issit because of 'it'?

'it' has blind my path way n has totally smoke me out for the past few days... could it be just because of 1 simple 'it' n it totally ruin me? is my life really ruin by 'it'??

time pass n plans started to fade away... dreams shattered... health getting worse... doing things without motivation at all... if ask... "wad happen?" i would just smile n act as if nth has happen... but inside my heart i wish to blast it all out... only if it hasnt been this way... y did i ever choose this path? issit fate? issit my destiny?

isnt it colourful at all whn u have nth at all... no worries, no stress, no pressures, just like a baby or children between the age of 3-5... every morning waking up just eat, play, slp... making friends by sharing toys... running about without much to care about... if only time could be turn back... i would rather stay as a children n never grow up.. ironically, whn we r young, we wanna grow up fast... we wanna be adult.. watch NC-16, M-18, R-21.. drink alcoholic drinks, smoke, do things tt arent suppose to be done under age... wad a funny world it is...

Who would believe other then my closest friend(s) [if any] that I actually have a hard time handling relationship... Eye candies, Crushes, Likes, Loves, Adore, Admire, Puppy love... u name it... why?? either I dun have a common topic to talk, or i'm too tounge tied... either i asked too fast, or get them to be my friend only(abit hard to phrase u get wad i mean..)
One of my friend ever told me, "your destiny isnt here yet, once it's here she will be the one for you." letting fate taking control of my life? issit wad i wan? Can u stop some1 from loving u or stop loving some1 u loved b4?

Kenny oh Kenny... u used to be a problem solver, relac only life, dun care much about wad has happen or not, have friends to play with or share things with... now... u r just a bum... coward, aim-less, sickload, worse then sotong fellow... could u at least pull ur socks higher? move abit faster, have a proper life??

reason for not driving

2009-01-25T00:52:00.002+08:00

reasons for not letting me drive? veri simple...

1st, i'll swear at other drivers... cause thy cannot make up their mind on where they r going n road hog!!

2nd, i speed like nobody business... hahaha... i ref the engine up n ppl thinks tt i'm crazy just by listening to the engine roar...

3rd, some say i drive like thy r taking roller coaster ride... thy feel like puking after taking my ride...

4th, I'm pron to accident... hahaha... dun know y...

5th n i think dun really have much more... I can do stunts in any road condition... =DD

with the above reasons... plz, dun take my car ride unless u have the guts... hahahha!!!! prepare to wear ear muffles cause i swear like nobody business in car... HAHA!!!

we may not have any special relationship... but i'm starting to miss her... she went back... n wont be coming to sch for 3days... T_T sob sob... i miss her...

for real?

2009-01-19T00:05:00.002+08:00

kinda bored... just come n blog sth out i guess... sat went for shopping... bought a pair of new shoe.. from kenneth's shop.. not really he open it... but he's working there.. so got special discounted price... hahaha... b4 that went to a warehouse sales which was really disappointing, didnt see anything special... saw shoes but didnt have my size.. clothes were so so... didnt really caught my attention...

at nite was suppose to go for supper... but in the end... i turn out to be sending ppl to place.. lolx.. guess my driving it getting worse n worse... hahaha... more n more aggressive... n lazy at times... curse my sweaty hands... arghh... tml going to see doctor anw... =D tune my body health...

went to bro house for dinner today... was all normal, nth special but glad to see tt all r happy... =D dad n mum got to see the precious grandson... so overall, every1 happy... hahaha...

i was commented by dad for my driving... =p 1st i speed... 2nd i aggressive.. 3rd.... I'm not a safe driver anymore... hahahha~~~ well... once u drive in sg road... u wont be safe anw.. hahahaha~~~ n whn u come in contact with so many taxi... oh well.. forget it... rules r meant to be broken... hahahaha...

mix feeling

2009-01-13T21:15:00.002+08:00

having this mix feeling within me... dun know y either.. just feel like blah-ing it out... well it just seems to be all too well fix... but i might be thinking too much anyway... if it would happen to me... singapore will be snowing anw..

should i just express my feelings? or just keep standing by the side watching... either ways has it's pro's n con's... express, she might get freak out which normally happens... n never talk to me again... which normally happens ALSO... but if she accepts.. it will be weird also... so express will be a NO, No thn...
Stand by the side? it's so much better... as the saying goes, Act blur Live longer...

maybe i'm freaked out with the result n work load i've to do... just thinking too much... must really learn how to control feelings... never put too much emotion into work...

I would love to shout it out loud... but.. but.. destiny is somewhere out there... whn time is right it will happen.. i guess... Keeping it inside isnt gd either.. but rushing into things just isnt the method..

2009

2009-01-04T22:27:00.002+08:00

new year new start... must really buck up... my mst is a flock... gotta brush up if not i guess i shall prepare for the worse... haiz...

this is it

2008-12-28T23:11:00.003+08:00

it has been sometime since i ever post anything... well... it has been a rough holiday for me.. today is the last day of my holiday.. just have the urge to blog out sth...

y issit rough for me? well i was down with dengue again.. just before xmas, wad a present... y i said again? yeah some would know it's my 2nd time having dengue fever... i'm suppose to be a dead man by now... but i've got thru it.. now i just need to go back for blood test n see if i'm really dengue free... how did i get it? how i know which mosqitoe sting me. hahaha... only stay in hospital for 2days.. got out fast as i know wad i'm suppose to do already i guess... lots of slp n lots of water... my mum also cooked frog soup for me.. hahaha... said to fight back the mosqitoe...oh well... but it taste not bad... =DD almost spend my xmas in hospital but i manage to get out of there..

attended a xmas party organized by a friend of mine.. haha.. surprised her via attending it...haha... scam her tt i was still in hospital.. but must thank another friend of mine for keeping the secret.. hahaha... but the party was fun n had the chance of catching up with old pals.. every1's different already... driving, riding, smoking... lots of different... still can rmb it like yesterday... all of us were still in uniform, attending sch... joking ard in school.. hahaha... time really flies... even some of my friends went overseas to study... haha... catching up with 1 of them next yr.. b4 she went back n study... =D n b4 i go work overseas... =d praying hard to get my OITP approved...

I'm so lost... issit just me or issit real? when will destiny come? haha.. year after year, wishes after wishes... never ever it has been granted... should i just give up hope? EC just sth for me to see... wont happen anw... or would it? couldnt forget those history... how? wad should it be? haizz...

wad a day...

2008-12-09T23:30:00.002+08:00

wops... did i miss out on the marathon run blog?? hahaha!!! tsk tsk... ok la... it started off with early morning taking free shuttle bus from jurong east... well can say late sat nite early sun morning... waiting for attendance taking for route marshall.. nope.. dun have ... so just board the bus n go down to padang... 2am reach... then sign in... waited until 4.. thn we r located to our location... oh.. forget to mention... i saw my sec sch classmate brother... hahaha... in short neighbour? hahahahaha!!!! ya... we r same sector..acutally wanted to change... but too bad... cannot change me away... =p

had a veri long day... veri veri veri long... it was longer then normal... until the extend the last run was transport back via bus... HAHA!!! all of us were shag... no mood... all we wan is just back home n slp!! oh well... it was kinda normal la... i was located at a location kinda funny... stadium rd... were we need to split full n half marathon ppl... but some ppl cannot tahan full marathon... thy in the end running half marathon... GAY! hahaha!!! but oh well... it's their run... those black tee shirt ppl... I HATE them... y? thy r so showoff... not all of them... but just some of them... i dun like... next time i see u... i'll say "you can do??you sure u can do????" stupid donkey..

after everything i went back home... shag like crazy already... take mrt back home... hahaha... n i over shot... i took mrt until yew tee... need to bounce back... hhahaha... oh well...ya...thn reach home wash up... slp whole day.... even suppose to go sis house also lazy to go le... hahahaha!!!!

thn monday... woke up late morning... hahah... thn went to sis house to have lunch.. thn we went to Giant... where?? east side giant.. hee hee.. woah! it's big!!! veri big... haven walk finish acutally... but ya.. i think spend more then $200++ bought a tin of 5L beer... hahhahaa!!! how cool is tt... drink until we drop liao... hahahahahaha!!!!! who drink? me myself and I... hahhahahahaa!!!! woohoooo~~~ after tt went back home.. n send sis home... then i took the bag of jackets n vroom down to ECP.. band gathering... but it had only like less then half the band there... but sir was there... n he PS me... say wanna go supper.. in the end run off home... but ya... did have some catch up time with my old mate... hahaha... acutally 1 only... but ya... it was fun... see little kids... hahaha!!! yeah.. those little kids.. kena slaughter.. nt knowing things about bbq... hahahaha!!!!! well... they will learn... lolx!! but bbq can be cheap n gd... just tt u know wad u wanna do or not only... hahahaha!!!! well... kids r kids... cant blame...

today went back to sp to summit my OITP application form... now i'm praying for the best... hope tt i can go overseas for my attachment... it will be so fun!!! hee hee... i think... but anw... i did some cleaning of my room... hahaha... tml needa work... Zzz... oh well... go zzz liao... chaoz!

shag..

2008-12-07T22:35:00.001+08:00

totally shag... went to be route marshal again for this yr marathon run... wanna go catch more slp liao..still veri shag... talk about it more next time...

screwed anw...

2008-12-05T22:26:00.002+08:00

hahaha... mst end... screwed up all my papers... only 1 paper i think i can do... MEKII, marine engineering knowledge II. the only paper i've confident... hahahahahaha.. the rest?? smash! gone, sayonara... asta la vistala... hahahahaha.... woosh...

ok now i've 3 weeks of break... but it seems like 3days only... y? for no reason it's suddenly pack with stuff to be done.. 1st will b the coming event... standard charted run... oh well.. contribution... hahaha... but it totally kills time.. n really burns... lucky next day public holiday... but i got another event... bbq... woot.. all the way at ecp... Zzzz... wad to do... travel down lor... did i mention tml i've to send jackets for printing.. Zzz seriously busy like a bee... bdays coming... xmas present to be shop... omg! my assignment... jialat... 2 reports... or issit 1???siao liao la...

woopy... i'm using new shampoo...lots of different smells.. hahahaha.. bought 2 small bottles n 1 big 1... hahaha... small to try... big to see how can it make my hair straight... hahhaha... yupp.. i'm using tt funny shampoo... hahahaha... "me wan me hair back!" hahahahaaa

issit holiday?? i dun feel holiday at all.. hahaha... 2nd yr poly like no holiday like tt... attachment coming soon... so dying to go overseas attachment... it will certainly be a fruitful 1... i believe... hahahahaha.... actually i just wanna get out of sg... hahahaha!!!! some1 who loves to travel but dun get the chance to travel... how irony rite.... 1st no money... 2nd no time... 3rd? no ppl to go with... hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! (hint hint)

i've 3 more books to complete... 3 more comic strips book... hahahahahaha!!!!! chaoSSs

hardcore mugging

2008-11-28T22:06:00.002+08:00

time to shift to gear 2... hardcore mugging time... mst coming soon... 20% will be counted into the sem exam... time to burn some oil n make a difference..

not suppose to be thinking about this which is the wrong timing but must focus on the main goal 1st... chiong till the end!!

jackets

2008-11-22T22:42:00.002+08:00

went back to kranji band ytd...after 2 boring lectures... reach b4 lunch time... so went for lunch with sir... all the way to IMM to collect some reeds.. special reeds..hahaha... ya we had a few chats... so funny with some of the stuff we shared... =p when we go back for practice... saw alan n azmi!! so long never see azmi already... hee hee... didnt really chat much but both of us were excited for them... them as in the members overseas trip...not sentosa but need to go pass custom...hahaha.. usage of passport...

helped the members with packing of instrument need to be send up early... kinda funny la... see those ppl doing the packing... like sotong only... hahahah!!!! but ya... guess all of them r excited...

today went back to collect the jackets some of the alumni order thru me... but morning i went to orchard 1st to deliever some stuff helping a poly friend.. had $30 free of coupon.. bought all food n food... lolx.. like all u can eat... well it's my breakfast... =p anw ya... the parking was freaking scary... it cost $4+ just 1 hr only... freaking rite!!!

came back home to put down the food and use the toilet... hahaha.. then pick up honey to go kss... so funny...ya i drove into kss and then alight from the car... i was wearing my standard band tee... thn 1 npcc girl came n greeted us... 1st line she use made me laugh... "Good morning Sir & Madam, please proceed to the general office..." then i cut her... but this stunting line... "Ex-kranjians" of course with smile.. lolx... but she look nervous... hahhaha!!!! but ya la.. we ex-kranjians..of course i know wad the sch have n dun... lolx... we went to look for sir... he was at canteen... so we pop by to say hi to him.. he was having a spinning head... cause no take breakfast... at 1st we plan to go walk walk 1st then go out eat with him... but change to we go eat 1st.. thn go walk walk... hahaha... went we walk to limbang... mac was full... foodcourt under renovation... so? yew tee lor... but sir dun wanna lose his parking spot... so i told him i drive him la.. lolx... at 1st he dun believe i drive to sch... but yes.. i drove to sch...hahaha... so he sat behind lor... hahaha.inside the picnic... blasting air-con at himself... hahahaha... so funny la... so ya... we went to yew tee foodcourt to have lunch... i had mango ice kachang, honey have gulu malaka sago, sir had his lunch... hahaha...

we chat until 12plus... hahah...so funny...we talk about gays, sch, members, life... lots of funny stuff n some sad...but life goes on... after tt we went off... while going towards to get the car... sir came up with the idea of alumni gathering going out as a group for meal or picnic... hahaha... see how la... lolx.. now i'm still holding a mountian... hahaha... until i get it remove... n have my own car...woohoo!!! anything also can happen... hahahaha.. this is the joke of the whole trip...while reversing i feel tt the car was moving abit slow n heavy... thn while i change to D, i have to step hard on the accelerater... feeling weird i check my dashboard.. i quickly stop n release my handbrake.. haahaha... so funny... then i mount the crub.. cause car big la...need to be careful.. but i was too careful... the handbrake was so funny... hahaha... not the 1st time for me anw... hahaha...

ya so i drove back to kss... now change of parking location... infront of the sch this time... hahaha...those ncc n npcc ppl...thy r either there for show or nth... show sign whn i turn already then tell me to stop... u crazy or u never take btt b4... lolx... stop while turning car coming i say gd bye to my car already... lolx... oh well... kids... =pPp

then went to collect the jackets for the alumni... total of 11.. which i've to now look for a printing shop to do special printing... now tt i've my jackets i need shop to help me edit the jacket with words... =D alumni r always special... hahahaha... especially whn u r ard me... lolx... i bring special stuff... hahahaha... not special i seldom recommand... hahahahahaa

after tt went ard lookin for teachers... n ya... saw fazlin.. whose leavin kss... awww...wops... ms fazlin... ya... she know sth which she's not suppose to know... but who cares... hahaha... b4 we leave sch... just chat ard with some teachers... thn i send honey to bedok... hahaha... wasnt busy.. so nvm... thn i went back n nap the rest of the noon... hahahaha!!!

off i go liao.. chaos~

swollen left arm

2008-11-19T20:56:00.003+08:00

crap... now my left arm is swollen n blue black.. zzz... the pain is there... but dun know how to get rid of it.. Zzzz... body system isnt working veri well... oh well... free curry chicken for all coming soon... =))

so dying for overseas ITP.. aka overseas attachment.. dying to have it... dun mind paying for my own airtickets... as i tink it's worth it for the future.. makes my resume nice nice... muhahahaha... Overseas working will be posted to China most likely.. dun care where... i just dun wanna work in sg... earning $440 each mth.. which is crap! paying 3K to go overseas... in the future i'll cover back everything... muhahahahaha.... I WANNA GO FOR EXPERIENCE!!!! woohooo!!!! OITP OITP!!!!!

worse pain

2008-11-17T00:02:00.002+08:00

this is worse thn donating platelets... the pain isnt going off at all... my left arm is semi swollen... touching it will have pain n it's hard... no heavy movement i guess... but i still played wii the pass few days.. oh well... die die lor... it's killing anw... slp also cannot slp on my left arm... Zzz

time will tell...

2008-11-12T00:00:00.002+08:00

time will not tell but time will show... shown me nth... so wad have i learn?? if u wan time to do the work for u... be prepared... prepared for the worse... if u cannot get over it.. it wont be over at all...

having realize....i still cant get over it... so wad am i talking about?? NO idea.... losing my mind i guess... give me a road with no cars... i wan to speed to relieve the tension... or give me food.. lots n lots of it... stuff me... stuff me with everything...

no idea

2008-11-07T22:56:00.001+08:00

blank mind...
lost...
real lost...

To be or not to be??
To love or not to love??
Whose who? what's what??

wad am i talking about?? lolx... who caress

small world after all

2008-11-05T20:19:00.003+08:00

it's such a small world after all... Didnt know my poly classmate can link to my secondary school band mate... hahahaha... how cool is tt... all living in the same area n dun know tt thy know each other actually... hahahahaha....

I'm so shock... I just flash a sms to show ppl y thy like to comment on my hair to my poly ex classmate.. thn she asked if it was the same person who attended same primary sch as her... as i asked... lolx... the more shock i got...

both of them were gd friend in primary sch after all... hahaha... now 1 my 'brother' the other my honey... hahahaha!!! such a small world...

work

2008-11-01T23:45:00.002+08:00

ah great... now my work keeps stacking up higher and higher... when will it ever be done? who cares... hahaha.... for now..my hair is freaking short!!! n i meant freaking short!!!! argh... $7 short hair... well... should be total of $18 plus previous $11 hair cut... T_T guess i'll be going to the $7 hair cut from now on... or not! well... i dun really like the hair cut... it looks kinda funny... still prefer long hair days... but wad to do... need to cut hair to meet the requirement for workshop... ARGHH arbo later fail i GG... zzz

ytd nite wad kinda fun i guess... went to watch a free play... ya..free... lolx! for no reason... oh well... it just cost me fuel oil... hahaha... have to refuel the car anw... burn too much oil... =pPp send ppl back home from cck... hahaha... oh well... tt's the price to pay... for having tt friend... hahahahaa!!! worth it la... lolx! wad was said in the car.. stays in the car..hahahahaa!!!!

today was kinda stunting... i woke up at 2pm... cool or wad...lolx!! n i laid down all day... totally shag... dun feel like moving at all.. until after dinner.. hahaha... was trying to do my emec aka engineering mechanic.. but nah... see the question also sian... lolx! nt my fault... u have gotta see the question being asked... =pPp

anw... guess tml must really sit down n do my hws... if not monday really jia lat... this sem cannot play play... =pPp

Taurus

2008-10-29T20:57:00.004+08:00

TAURUS -
The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

just find it kinda cool... hahaha...

wiiiii

2008-10-25T23:18:00.003+08:00

Oh yeah!!! new technology... I'm playing with a real toy this time... Wii!!! yesh! i've made up my mind n bought a wii... i also bought 4games... hahaha... so fun!!! woohooo~~ wii rox~ so funny the game... u see the player like siao also... lolx!!! it's gd for exercise also... haha...

today went to see cars with my poly classmates...so funny... the car is actually older then the owner itself... thn we went to town to get my wii... but i only got my wii at 7plus.. cause there only accept cash payment.. n we plan to meet another friend at far east... so went down to meet her thn went to send my phone for repair...

well... kinda boring but overall was ok ba today...

FREE lunch

2008-10-23T21:49:00.002+08:00

Free lunch?? of course there's such thing on earth.. hahahaha!!!! I won back my lunch money... HAHAHA!!!! how? well.. it's veri simple.. after lunch my ex classmate went to study area to play some card games... "Blackjack" well.. from there i earn back $6.50 aka my lunch... lolx!!! $5 for duck rice shared by 4... $1.60 for bubble tea...well... almost all my lunch money... but ya... hahahaha!!!! veri lucky... nowadays on gamble luck i guess...

lesson nowadays r driving my nuts... things pour down... pour n pour... woot... but classmate are fun n funny... hahaha...

sch term

2008-10-20T22:48:00.002+08:00

holy for sch... my notes r as thick as my old books... those bible like thingy... without them cannot get pass this sem liao... all the notes r so thick... Zzz... oh well.. just 1 more yr to go...

bad habits... i'm hooked to facebook... maybe next time will be wii... muhahahaha... so gona get the wii... below $700!! wooohooo~~ with wii... dun know will carry on with my studies or not... keke... oh well... Wii.. here i come!!! =DD

alone

2008-10-19T01:18:00.002+08:00

now the whole house is almost all to mine... both my siblings have moved out...now me n my parents in this 5room flat... oh yeah... so i'm having an office in my house, a theater room with sound system...

nope i'm not changing my room cause i love my room so much tt i dun wish to move at all... HAHAHA!!! =pPp

move on with life, live it to the fullest... I'll let u know again... i'm sure... i know when will be the right time... if tt isnt the right time... i shall totally focus on it...

All i wan is u....

sch start

2008-10-15T00:08:00.002+08:00

school start, 2nd day... no lesson... boring... go sch no class... *yawnz*

boring!

ages to blog..

2008-09-29T22:32:00.002+08:00

it has been ages since i blog... hahaha... come update abit... yeah this few weeks have been busy like a bee... running with my wet ass... hahaha!!! NC-16.. lol~~ anw happy birthday to those September babies... but this few weeks i've like covered almost everything i need to know about my dad's work life... hahaha... almost everything i've done it or have to know...

I'm able to repair afew types of pumps now, and able to tell the problem lies in it.. hahaha... ya but still not pro in it la... slower in removing n putting back only... hahaha... but at least i've the rought idea of it... I also have an rough idea of how to repair dad's car n change engine oil... hahaha... ya... i like bao ka liao... lolx!!! now i learning about payment.. lolx!! ^^ how cool issit... collecting payment... main thing now is to rearrange the storehouse... hahaha!!!

alot of things happen la... but the most earth shocking will be the little newphew of mine... not him whose earth shocking... but the parents... how earth shocking?? Add is equation and ur reaction will be the same as mine "HUH?? WHY??" here goes the equations.. add H2O with baby soap and half can of commercial beer can(330ml) and wad do u get?? lolx... beer bath... ^^
ever heard of it?? dun ask me question about it... i'm still looking for more answer about it... said to be giving the same effect as alcohol swipe.. prove it to be tt it does and i'll rest my case...

next earth shocking will be the baby crying at 2am(kinda standard timing also...) until 4plus... for no reason... either it's hungry or sth... the parents just wont feed him... how funny?? well... thy r following the time table.. wad time to eat n poop... LOLX! oh come on... he's not a machine... hahahaha!!!! did i mention tt baby will shout for no reason... super guai lan also... oh well...

The earth moves and shake the most is where my mother being very very unhappy about their doing... oh well... my father also la... hahaha... but he's just keeping it only... wait till he blast... i better not be at home... blahahahaha... most of the time thy shout i not at home de... haha... lucky me... know whn to siam and hide... muhahahaha...

oh well... i better get back to work... i still have a booklet to translate into english and due account to do... darn those company... pay up and i dun have to do this already... always late payment... next time must add interest liao le.. arbo add charges to chase those overdue payment...

Chaoz~

sentosa or duck tour??

2008-09-14T21:13:00.001+08:00

spoil for choice... have 2 jobs offering me... which 1 should i pick?? duck tour? or Sentosa??

anw.. sat i went to job orientation at sentosa... was kick back after my 1st stop merlion.. y?? cause i couldnt confirm myself to work in sentosa still due to the coming interview at suntec for duck tour... arghh... if not i get to visit all the site for free... =pPp ya... so i have to make my way back lor...

so which 1 should i pick now? 1 pay higher then the other... 1 learn more then the other... 1 is nearer to my house n sch then the other... 1 seems more interesting the the other... n of course the 1 i went to have more youth like me!!! hahahahaha!!!! which makes it a fun n loving place to work in... however the pay will be slightly lower... =p oh man... come on... tell me... tell me more about the other job so tt i can go back to the old 1 n love it!!!! >,<

interview

2008-09-11T22:06:00.002+08:00

wooo.. went to sentosa... yeah... i'm soon gona be a staff in sentosa.. muhahaha... y? cause i'm called back n have to attend a breifing this coming sat... wad am i working as? Attraction host... hahaha... yeah... me host... woohoo... but the pay abit low... can live with it la... better then cinema... hahaha... tt cinema... =p at least i get to see the ppl ard the world... interesting.. hahahaha.... cant wait for sat to come... think it will be fun... free sentosa for 1 day... hahaha... today also... free enterance.. muhaahah... after which i work at sentosa... i'll be SICK of tt place... hahahaha!!!

job-less

2008-09-06T23:15:00.002+08:00

nope.. still no job yet... no reply from any of the companies... Zzz... so wad am i going to do... I need a job asap... i need money!!! T_T

oh the past 4days attended medical 1st aid course... for onboard ship... yeah... more advance... =p saw a navy guy... woot... he came in 1st day in uniform... he is a cheif engineer.. wooooooo kinda high title... was a veri calm n steady guy... never really talk to him much.. but he kinda taught us alot of things... hahaha... surprise huh... never talk to him but still learn sth... hahahahaha!!! oh well... we shall see if we can meet next time... 4days was short but fun... hahaha!!!

on the last day of the course.. we had to do a 40mins written mcq paper... ^^ it was easy... =D no problem in doing it... just tt some question confused me... hahaha.. oh well.. but should be able to pass... =DDDD

thn practical.. it was a pair exam practical... 2 of us face the examiner and he will ask us some question...we r suppose to answer him n pass... but my examiner is the most classic n great 1...
Both of us enter the room walk towards the examiner, "Good Afternoon, Sir!" thn we sit down.. 1st question was asked about y we choose this course... thn follow by a 'P' on the score sheet... this is the question he asked the both of us... "So should i Just PASS you guys n not ask any question? or wad question do u wan me to ask u about?" So wait... both of us were scraching head huh?? wad does he meant by tt?? so i just talk to u... kill your time... make u know 1 more new guy u never see b4... ya then u pass me already? Oooo... so the past few hrs i've been mugging like crazy... wasnt really needed... lolx... but anw we gave him a gd answer i think... we didnt say no to answering question... we replied "oh.. erm.. tt depends on you already.. any question will be find.." ya he did ask 1 question... about CPR Counting... HAHAHAHA!!! wasnt really easy to count as the timing must be correct... 1n 2n 3n 4n 5nn 1n 2n 3n 4n 10nn 1n... woot... u can hardly catch ur breath... not forgetting the rescue breathing... athousand 2athousand 3athousand 4athousand 5athousand *BLOW!* athousand.. etc... HAHAHA it was a counting exam...

so ya... both of us pass... but not with flying colours cause it was rated P n F only... but mostly P la... hahahha.... unless u fail to listen in class... then maybe a F... HAHAHAHA!!!! Medical 1st aid was fun!! =DD worth attending cant wait for medical care...

pending...still pending

2008-09-04T00:05:00.002+08:00

waiting like i never wait b4... whn i wanna work no job wanna employ me... whn i not interested to work.. all kinds of weird weird job will be available... arghh... I really wishes to work at cathay but thy still haven give me any reply on am i employed or not... now asking ard different job liao... all those visitor area places... =pPp darn sian sia... no job no money no money no wii or upgrade of video cam... =((

oh attended First Aid medical course... WAS SLACK!!! SUPER SLACK!!! tml another class...will see how slack is tml... =D

PARTY~~!!!!

2008-09-01T01:36:00.002+08:00

Give me a P
Give me a A
Give me a R
Give me a T
Give me a Y

wad does it SPELL?!?!??!?!?!

IT's PARTY TIME!!! no more Papers (for this sem) woohooo!!! time for me to catch some break earn some quick bucks! woohoo!!! $$$ wii i'm so close to u... just wait... u just wait there quietly... =DDDD

Dun ask how's my exam cause out of 3 i flunk 2... so ya... dun wanna hope for too much... oh well... this is fate anw... now most important is earn money n SLP all i can!!! woohooo~~~ party~~!!!! supper, movies, see mei mei!!!! >,< Awwww!!!! so GreaT!!! =DDD

will see wad i can talk about again next time... caos~

2 different person

2008-08-23T03:48:00.002+08:00

who would actually believe I've split personality? 2 kind 2 different kind of person living in 1 body... uh? who would actually... kinda irony i find myself... sometimes can do, sometimes cannot... if it's the correct person out... yeah, he can do almost everything... if wrong... he has no idea wad he is talking about either... so whose the 1 typing now u might ask... tt's for u to find out...I've no idea myself...

overstressed by the exam..1st time ever or issit not the 1st time already... but this paper is totally different from the rest... i'm facing extra pressure on it... no idea how it happens but i'm going crazy sooner or later... the amount of tea i'm drinking it totally off my normal limit... my slping time has totally change... thinking tt i can concentrate better at nite like now but tt doesnt seems like the case... wad's inside my mind? alot of things... things i can never name finish... others will say it's thinking too much, some will say u need a break... wad i see? i need to get a new life... it's not the warning summon i got tt turn me into this.. tt's for sure... cause i've been like this for the past few weeks... or should i say since start of the sch term? peer pressure? nope... never had tt kind of problem at all... my peers doesnt really create much pressure on me... family? dun see much problem... myself? maybe... cant seems to see things correctly... nor judge things in the correct manner...

it seems like it's a total change person... sometimes different person will come out... either over-driven for tt period of time or just tt other self wanna come out...this is getting more n more crazy... I need space... lots n lots of space... I'm kinda sick of stuck in this 4walls room... it seems like an idiot but i'm carrying 2 phone whn no1 actually contacts me... this is nuts... i'm talking to myself over the web... blogging for myself to see... having an private site for me to blog n read... is there really 2 Kenny living in this body??? who can answer my question?? LOOK! i'm asking question to myself again... this is nuts... going more n more nuts..

warning letter

2008-08-21T23:46:00.002+08:00

oh great.. was suppose to study... in the end i've a shocked of my life... my heart almost pop out of my chest... my sister scared the shit out of me with the summon sms.... saying i tio a summon n is fine $130 with 4 demerits points... oh well... oh great... there goes my driving life... oh well.... totally took my studying day off... no mood to study anymore le... come back with the eager to know wad summon i tio... in the end the letter came out to be like this...

THX MY BELOVED SISTER! (KNS)

all for the hope of serving the nation

2008-08-19T15:00:00.005+08:00

oh come on... just wanna give back wad i took during my secondary school days... giving back to the society... also dun wanna employ me at all... selfish bunch of ppl... 1st dun wan me cause i sat for english paper more then once... but at least i pull up my grade from D7 to B3... at least sth proven!!! not as if i cant speak or listen to english... ARGHHHHH wait till i get my PHD!!! DUN BEG FOR ME!! bleahhh!!! this is the letter i received

Grrr!!!! bite them!!!!

exam

2008-08-15T23:09:00.002+08:00

guess wad... 2 weeks or less to my Semester exam... it's like the end of yr exam for most... yeah... it's coming soon!!! wad the hack am i doing here still?? 3 papers to study.. 2 killer paper... Engineering Maths, Applied Thermo... this 2 enough to kill me... formula, things needed to rmb.. oh man... boring!!! need to do lots n lots of practices also... Agrhh...

this is also a bad timing... y am i thinking of her from no where... i'm suppose to concentrate... ya.. concentrate... but nope.. i'm not doing so... Arghh... this is killing... 1 killing me mentally n psychically... mentally, i've so many things in mind... n this just pop out... Zzz.. psychically, pushing my body to the max limit it can take... still can push it... but ppl will just say i'm crazy... i'm crazy anw...

all for the needa keep my own cool... arghhh.... i'm not angry... i'm just not thinking well enough... need to adjust myself again... sickening sia... it has been so long already... y can i get over it n move on with my life?? wad's urs will be urs... wad's not will never be... it's a fact... n i know... but my inner self doesnt believe in this... (dun be freak out about my split personality...) he wants wad he will go all the way for it till he gets it... n yeah... tt's bad.. real bad...

there's 2 things i can do to make myself fully concentrate on my work solely...
1) keep my laptop inside the big big box... which will take me 2hrs to unpack... which i wont come online anymore... until my papers has ended or i feel like coming online again... but i cant stop coming online... oh gosh... cause i'm addicted to facebook's games.. n also richman online.. sth like monopoly.. jia lat...

2) i've no idea wad can i do...

oh well... i'll stick to number 2 then.. sounds easier... should be more effective...

life still goes on without u...

work at expo

2008-08-02T00:29:00.002+08:00

Finally!!! i'm can seat down n rest my leg... poor leg... need to support my full weight today for more then 12hrs... T_T needa give them some special treatment next time...Foot massage... HAHA!!!

Anw... today went to Expo to work at 10am... leave house at 830... slowly crawl down... HAHA... met sam at lrt station... standard... late as usual... crap about alot of stuff on the way... lame ard also.. HAHA!!! poly classmate... wad to do... =p

upon reaching.. we have to walk all the way in until hall 4... u know expo hall isnt small at all... so u have to freaking walk a distance... Zzz really a DISTANCE... whn we reach we called the in-charge to give us the pass for us to enter... it's a tag u need to put round ur hand... as if i'm in genting theme park... HAHA... collect our working pass n tee shirt plus sign in the time sheet... was brief on wad to do... n wad we should know... but nah.. i never go n rmb all those stuff... lazy to do so... just read n forget... not as if i'm gona be tested on it... HAHA!!! =p

i was posted to b a runner for the event... really running about... do payment, look out for seats, running about to get stuff... HAHA!!! I felt like a stock broker... those buying n selling stocks... we have signal such as 1 finger -> Japan; 2 fingers -> Korea; 3 fingers -> Taiwan... HAHA!! thn we have plate number... flashing up high telling ppl where am i... HAHA!!! if signal was wrong n tt counter dun serve... we have to be on our toes to post customers to another free seating table.. HAHA which can serve them.. if not... jialat...

during lunch time... this uncle i wont forget him... make me super DL! i was busy looking for a free seating table... as i was posted to the frontline due to lunchbreak... frontline man went for this lunch 1st... he took damn long lor... Zzz anw.. tt uncle... arghh.. as i was looking for the table to japan... then i turn to the lady... "travelling to?", "Japan"... sir u r travelling to? "Japan" thn i hunt for the seat... no seat until veri long... thn i asked if the uncle can go join the queue ... thn he say.. "am i not in the queue??? isnt this the queue??" I'm like huh?? the queue is behind me... not infront of me... only when i see got seats then i can direct u to ur table... kena make me so dl.. faster sent him off... curse n swear!!

after my lunch i went back to being a runner... running ard again... thn this lady came up to me... white adidas polo tee... looks like a golfer... damn fking guai lan... "Hello! where is the queue?" pointing to the front... "it's infront miss..." being pissed off..."waD?!?! I'm asked to be here.... n i've been waiting veri long to be served... n u wan me to queue again?" i'm like... as if i asked u to come here... ccb la... this kind of attitude... like i owe u to serve u... lucky enough the table i'm standing infront happens to be empty soon... so i just "miss.. this will be ur table..." NOT EVEN A SIMPLE THANK YOU!!! CB U!! BITCH! play golf big F! throw 18balls at u arx! as if u got any!! arghh!!!

after this 2 incident... most of it will be the frontline fault liao.. never give me direct number on whose going wad... i can only see empty table post the card out to indicate tt it's empty n wait till ppl arrive...

the crowd never seems to end... even after 930... ppl still asking n purchasing tour package... but i knock off at 930... so poof! gone we the runners... hahahaha!!! no need to be stock broker le... stock close n it's a high market rate... HAHA!!!

went to feast myself with Burger king... which was also closing.. hahaha!!! bought a meal n munch my way until i reach the mrt station... feel so shuang... HAHA!!! the food provided just dun fill me up... =p thn home sweet home i am...

special info... while working... i got the chance to talk to afew taiwan tour guide... thy were funny... 1 even asked me to perm up my hair... HAHA!!! crap... saying it will attract more girls... HAHA!!!! veri funny wor... thn i found $4 on the floor... for no reason... scary?? haha... thn i split between me n sam... haha... $2 each... =)) some of the uncles n jiejie were veri nice... haha... gt afew pretty 1 la... but too bad... thy r front other country... dun wanna be countriest... so not typing where thy r from... =)) will miss her for sure... T_T cause tml i wont be working... found replacement to work... n yup... tml i'll be in kss... =DD (tml will be like today?)

too hot to handle...

2008-07-30T00:39:00.002+08:00

it's getting so WARM!!! i'm melting already... slp also can perspire... how kua zhang can tt be??

nth special today actually...just those normal routine... nth special to blog about today... just suddenly came to my mind about her... ya... dun know y... maybe cause the day she was brought to this world is coming soon... it doesnt seems long nor does it seems short... it's a celebration of wad her mum went thru specially for her...

maybe it's because i'm super used to be alone... doing stuff by myself just seems normal... so having additional help is just additional bonus... naturally i work alone.... oh well... off topic...

being able to hold her hand? will i be able to actually gather up all the guts to wish her a happy B-day? it has always been the same problem... nope time doesnt really does the healing... it only makes ur suffering seems longer... so near yet so far.... but it's always far far away from me...never close once... issit fate or issit chance? none of it i have...so it just makes my life worse...

dun wanna be religious... so wont talk about holy stuff...

lots n lots of test coming... due to exam period coming soon... it's time to mug hard... which is just to place here for the sake of placing...

boring n waste money

2008-07-23T22:58:00.003+08:00

Today pon sch specially just to attend SIBF(singapore international band festival) wasnt really impressive at all... but anw...morning was suppose to meet kh.. lolx.. 830.. wops... was late... hahaha...ps dude!!! =D we take away breakfast n go to kss...didnt have much difficulty going in... guard knows me already.. HAHA!!! wad a joke... kh even wanna guai lan tt old blacky... but he wasnt there anymore... dun know wad happen to him also.. maybe at nite walk halfway drop lost... HAHA!!! Wops.. =X i'm suppose to talk about SIBF..

ya.. reach sch.. thy were playing dam buster... kena busted wide open... talk abit of crap here n there with kh.. looking at little children playing soccer in the middle of the rain.. Childrens... HAHA!!! well.. i didnt really did much help in sch... tuning wasnt involved cause was not asked to do so... so ya.. never really tune the tubest.. never talked to them also... just hi bye...

was given the task of doing recording for SIBF... so.. ya... it's the old toy i used to play with... hahaha... which is yrs ago or mths ago?? it has been quite sometime for me to play with it.. so took me sometime to know how to handle it again.. hahaha...

worse part of the case?? i was caught doing recording.. ARGHH curse n swear tt uncle... big deal doing recording... as if i'm gona sell the recording to some million dollar company... bleahhh!!!! so i told them okie okie.. i'll 'delete' the recording... b4 i delete at least let me listen once... i listen to it... Hmm... not bad... but i never delete... cause i return back my equipment already... wops.. cannot delete... HAHAHA!!! not with me le wor... Aww... too bad... bleahhh!!!!!

stayed all the way till results r release... was impressed by the last band... the last song was kinda nice n cool.. ksb? thy have gotten a Bronze scoring 72%.. not bad la.. at least in syf it's a silver.. =D n come on...it's a international competition... dun be too down on it... treat it as a wake up call for the members... dun be too sad over it... result is result anw... it's the effort u put into this event...

had a nice chat with sir...haha...not surprise with the stuff he wanna ask me... hahaha... but ya.. it's expected anw... from wad i see... it's just wad i say... but from wad i sense... sir's more stress thn any1 in band... well... pressure from students, teacher(s), school... support maybe given but sometimes things will turn out bad no matter wad happen... nth will be gd.. so look on the bright side... oh well.. life sux anw... hahaha!!!

just 5sec

2008-07-22T01:01:00.002+08:00

it wont take long... i just wan to see u... just a glimpse of ur face or back view... any! any of it will do... how badly do i misses u? u have no idea... ppl say life is full of ups n downs.. mostly down i would say... now i'm down with ulcer inside my throat..wad a place to have it... to top it up... a grp of team mates giving me extra pressure with deadline coming soon... n additional topping, being lonely n have no1 to lean on... "wow! wad a great week..." I'm so in love with this week...let's see... skipping tt class, not going tt lesson... yup... so in love with it...

Arghh!!! cant eat well, cant speak, ARGHH!!! this sux!!! y did i stop going training... ARGHHH!!!! gona push the limit to the max... break it n poof! bits n pieces of kenny... just like south park... "OMG! U KILLED KENNY!!" "Oh Kenny... U DIED AGAIN..."

if i've 1 wish... just 1... guess wad would i wish for??

cool~~~

2008-07-17T23:29:00.001+08:00

This is SO COOL!!! Gosh!! i Dream of doing this... T_T!!!

zzz

2008-07-09T00:45:00.002+08:00

busy busy busy... lazy lazy lazy lazy at the same time... oh well... gotta work my way out...

Darn those buggers who place me as Grp Leader for the coming project... i wont take up another 1 tml... die also wont!!! Grrr... if like tt i'll be having 3 project n i'm the leader for all 3... Zzz thanks arx!!

i think i'm out of cca again.. hahaha... ya... kinda lazy to go back training... anw maybe i'm not tt type of sporty guy... i prefer watching then playing.. HAHA!!! =p so i guess i've to be extra busy with all my stuff on hand n do my own exercise.. BORING!

oh well...tml will be going back ksb see wad crap do i get again... Chaos~!

gut feeling

2008-07-06T22:28:00.002+08:00

trust my own guts... if u r sitting inside my car... be warn of 2 things, i'll scold ppl out of the sudden n i get lost easily.... yup... so if u wan me to pick u up... tell me 3hrs in advance... then i can prepare...or 2hrs also can... normally it took me 2hrs to find 1 location.. so ya...

kinda sick of driving already... no reason i wont get the car n drive... for meals, i'll consider again liao... less thn 2 ppl inside the car take public transport liao... freaking bo liao if 2 ppl inside n i'm driving a MPV... fuel consumption is high...

busy week coming up... project work again.... oh well...

wishes for it to happen

2008-06-30T23:41:00.003+08:00

all i wan is just to be with u...
standing next to u,
sitting next to u,
be with u whenever I can...

I wish I could watch the stars with u,
walk with u till ur hair goes white,
hold your hand and never let go.

I love you,
I dun know but yes!!!
I love you!!!
(p.s. i wish i've the guts to tell you...)

high!!! veri high!!!!

2008-06-27T23:34:00.002+08:00

woohoo!!! I'm Super HIGH!!!! hell high am I.. HAHA!!!!

went to sch in the morning for my last MST paper.. applied thermo... woohoo... killer paper...so ya.. not expecting high marks for it... heard a sad news from my 'jiemei' she broke up with her bf... oh well... relationship i'm not gd in it.. so i only can lend listening ears... other then tt.. nah.. i better not touch...

after paper actually wanted to go jumbo to eat.. but then decided to go Lot1 to eat instead... veri long never go there n eat... so me n my 'jiemei' go lot1 to eat... on the way.. i saw the guy i hated... oh my... i totally give my worse jiao been... haha... but anw i was with 'jiemei(s)' so ya.. haha.. who give a damn about him anw....

ya at lot1 had lunch with 'jiemei' n went to explore abit... haha.. really change alot... she was sad... so ya lor.. walk walk with her la... hope she will be fine...

ya then went home.. about to prepare for nitex CFN event... wanted to borrow car from dad...but in the end i went to work with him 1st then i get the car later... haha...was fun working... all the funny jokes about ppl repairing, then cannot repair call my dad to repair... double charges... haha!!!! dun act smart... dun know ask... haha... pay more for it.. HAHA!!! thn saw afew of dad's business friend... was being introduced to... haha... "next time u see him u know wad to do arx..." haha.. tt's wad dad say... HAHA... so funny... i rmb 1 of the joke was about me...

Man A : "Hey ur son doesnt look like u..."
DAD : "LIKE!! in between the legs!!!"
Man A : "Well the length might be different??"

abit yellow.. but haha.. it was funny...

help me dad to open up 1 pump to check for problem.. nth much... just some dirty stuff inside... n some rusty thingy... so ya.. change it n put it back again... so fun removing n putting it back.. haha!!! dun know.. from young i enjoy doing it.. haha!!! born in me thingy...

ok.. thn i get to drive at evening time... yup... went home to kill sometime b4 i pick up my honey.. haha... mum cooked my dinner n i never eat... =P supper for me liao le... thn phone ring, msg from honey... reach kranji liao.. okie.. thn i rush down to yew tee to pick her up.. then back to cck to pick up another kuku who HAD HER DINNER 1st!!! argh.. i went to CFN with a hungry STOMACH!!!

most classic part.. driving into sch...
"You are??"
"EX-Students visiting!!"
"oh okok... this way please..."

HAHA!!!! never see me b4? i'm so famous in sch plz... at least 50% of the teachers know me... i think... haha!!! but hey... dun know me wanna die issit... even the guards also know me... know how guai lan am i.. haha!!!! cannot tahan me at all.. lolx!!! oh well... it's born in me.. cant help... hahaha... ok.. then drive in.. part close to Cheng.. wanted to disturb him de... but nah.. dun really have the chance... so nvm... haha..

purpose of going back is to visit all my ex teachers... those sec5 mostly... n those i close to in the past.. went back to chat with them.. haha.. kinda long never see them n catch up with them already... so ya.. had fun talking to miss lai, miss rashidah, mr yeo, ms ratna, mr foo... ya this few i chat with them... haha... so funny... ms ratna is giving birth soon... haha... in 2mths time i guess... now already 7mths... so ya... coming soon... haha!!! mr yeo will be talking about some crap la... so ya lor... oh... 1 thing.. which is so important.. I SAW! ya i SAW HER!!! ^^ SO HAPPY!!!! i wave to her!!!! so HAPPY!!! she smile at me... I Melt!! Aww~~~ SO SO HIGH!!!! ^^ ya while chatting with mr yeo... argh... my handphone give way.. ya.. it expose itself out... i forgot about my screen saver.. Zzzz so ya... dun ask.. dun need to know...

the whole even i'm like walking ard chatting with teachers... ya lor... miss them alot... HAHA... miss those days... wearing uniform standing outside classroom looking at tt particular class.. going to toilet must walk long way... instead of the 1 near us.. haha... it was crappy... so miss those days... oh well.. those days r over... gotta move on anw...

after the whole even ended... i'm hungry!!! totally hungry... so we went to Yew Tee mac... hee hee.. ya with honey n Asri... long time no see ex major.. haha... yupp... i saw her there... (already know she is there...how i know?? HAHA!! i just know) wave to her again... Aww... i melt again... HAHA.... today i really melt sia... too bad my fingers were dirty..if not i sure shake her hand... =p then i wont wash it at all or use it!!! haha.. my finger was dirty due to the oil work i did earlier... cannot wash off at all.. takes time to come out fully by itself... so oh well...

Crap alot at mac.. was laughing veri loudly also i think.... i sit at an angle where i can actually see her eyes.. Aww... melts again... HAHA!!! omg... i really cannot forget about her man... she's just the classic 1... >,< Awwwwww..... oh well... dun know is she still single or not... actually wanted to drive her back.. but dun know wad reason to give also.. so drop the idea.. haha!!! man.. i totally melt.... Awww!!!!!! whn will i get to see her again?? Aww...i wanna see her n chat with her... but... i dun have the guts... ARGHH!!! only dare to see her from far.. like pervert also... Zzz oh well... damn sad... but she wave at me... hee hee.. so happy!!!! she still rmb me.. not bad wor... HAHA!!!! i'm not a superstar in sch also... hee hee.. for ppl to rmb me.. not bad sia.. ^^ so happy!!!

oh did i mention.. 1 of my sec2 boy came n took photo with me... now then i rmb.. whn thy were in sec1.. i took them for orientation.. HAHA!! I actually sang the sch song for them to listen n teach them how to sing.. HAHA!!! so funny.... now then i rmb sia... if not i dun even really rmb wad happen... HAHA!!! now i know how thy get to know me... HAHA!!! =X

I miss her... how i wish i can see her right now... hee hee... miss her DEEPLY!!!!!!

blur cock

2008-06-22T21:34:00.002+08:00

wad a blur sotong... darn ass me... super blur until this extend...

yeah.. i thought i lost my thumbdrive again... hell yeah the same 1...

I was doing file transfer ytd nite... to my main desktop... thn my laptop was beside it... so i dun need to walk all about... plug in n out only... so thn i keep my stuff back into my room... thn i decided to update my contacts all on the phone... ya... i update until 4plus close to 5... even manage to watch finish the match ytd...

thn my friend asked for some solution for my maths quiz... i went to scan it... thn whn i wanna transfer it to my laptop... i couldnt seem to find my thumbdrive... i asked my bro if he has seen it... nope he didnt... thn i was thinking... where could i left it?? no where else i went to with my thumbdrive... i even took photo of it... ya...u can see form the previous post... with my handphone also... thn i look high n low for it... even flip the sofa... all the possible places i looked... i even thought i ate my thumbdrive like wad Hulk did... haha!!!!! WHERE THE HACK ISSIT!!! i gave up searching... n play with my new phone... guess wad... it's smack infront of my... under a piece of paper...!!! WTF!!! it's all the while infront of me... Zzzz super blur cock sia... jialat liao la... my brain power getting less n less powerful... time to do sth about it... super cock sia me...

ya today mug afew subject... 2 i think... or was it 1?? dun know la... but i know i can do some of my maths.. hee hee... instru i'm prepared to die anw... haha... cause dun know wad is he going to come up with... just prepare myself with the quiz he give regularly...

pick up my dad at kranji MRT station... thn went for lunch... woo the yong tao hu was gd... yummy... healthy also... MMM!!!! so hungry now!!! cant help it... yeah i've no more chance of driving liao... half tank left for my dad... hey i did top up 1/4 ok... it isnt full tank at all whn given to me lor... so ya! i did pay for my fuel!!! =p i think i more n more impatient... i tend to speed easily.. haha... highway i try to limit myself to max 100... if can 90 at most... no beyond... even small road i can travel up to 100... just now after i send my mum to temple near Lim Chu Kang.. i'm like drifting... HAHA!!! dun know y sia... tend to press the paddle like nobody business... hahah!!!!! jialat... I'm no longer a safe driver??? cannot!!! i'm a veri safe driver... haha.. only thing i get lost easily... =p if u never point properly to me... i'll just turn at the wrong exit...n do my famous U-turn move... haha!!!!

stupid phone

2008-06-22T13:31:00.004+08:00

Argh!! stupid Phone... but woohoo.. i've gotten a new handphone.. haha... damn it... make me run 3 places just to get the phone.. hate the service provided to me... ARGHH!!! I'm a angry customer!! Grrr!!!

First i went to Causeway point... wanna port over to the Star provider... but cannot cause my singing lesson haven ends... if i port over it will cost me a penalty charge.. no a penalty kick... about $250 plus plus... argh... but nvm.. tt time the phone will cost me $48... Cheap la.. still can afford... but thn... the Causeway ppl never tell me i can get the phone for free... details will come later inorder to get the full picture... so ya lor.. i didnt get my phone at causeway... case close?? nope... i bu shuang... i went down to lot1 to ask...

I asked if i could port over after my original line has ended it's lesson.. yesh it can be done... just tt i need to go down to the main brunch at Plaza Singapura.. Easy peas... thn i wanna get the phone... $88!!! it shot up in 1 day!!! WTF!! i'm like huh?!?! $88... nvm thn... bye bye!!! walking home being a angry customer ARGHHH...thn feeling more bu shuang...i drop by IMM! where i got my cable tv n internet...

i asked if i can port over again after i sign the new line n after my lesson has ended... ya it can be done.. so ok lor... i wanna sign a new line... thn i'm also currently holding 2 other bill under star.. will i enjoy anything?? ya... $100 off a new hp... WTF!!! $100 off!!!! no need to pay for my hp!!! ya... whn i was at causeway.. thy didnt tell me i can enjoy tt service... ARGHHH $100 off leh!!!! $48 i can pay la... but actually i can dun PAY AT ALL!!! angry angry.. so i got my new line.. will be porting over next mth... new hp...original colour was white... yup.. but 1 of my jiemei wants it.. so i xchange it with her lor... she was holding black... oh well...my brand new phone change for a not so new phone... but it wont cause much different also..

my battery was new... my memory card was new... i've to manually delete all the stuff tt doesnt belong to me...

Miss my white phone.. HAHA!!! but black is cool.. lolx!! ^^ not so easy to get dirty also... Gd thing! n finally i can use my handfree set when driving.. HAHA!!! if not dad will always complain =p

couldnt help it

2008-06-21T00:12:00.002+08:00

ok... i'm not suppose to use the car at all unless emergency... but i couldnt help it i drove myself to sch on thursday... argh... but i also drove my mum to dover mrt... so kinda fair rite?? i think... not for myself only ma... i also drive my mum... =p but ya... the truth is i drove to sch... abit cool... but also sian diao.. hard to find parking lot de leh... anw attended lesson from 9 - 11am nth was taught... totally self-revision... self practice.. Zzz ok lor.. then only 8 of us went.. haha!!! how cool was it...

after my lesson went to causeway point... met up with band members from ksb... had a mini lunch with them... kinda ex also... but was fun.. really funny... haha... couldnt help it but i was kinda disgusting... haha.. ppl eating i talk about some gross stuff... woohoo!!! fun~~ haha!! thn after the meal they wanna go sing Karaoke.. some wanna go back... so i drove some back... cause i've work to do... need to do some banking stuff... n maintain the mailbox... out of Causeway point Carpark $3.10!! CB!!! so EX!!! ARGHHH!!! i scream out loud!!! freaking EX sia!!! thn nvm... i went back home.. cause i send the 2 who wanna go back to cck... reach home.. saw sister... HA! motive.. wan me to send her to hillview to pass sth to her friend... thn i need to do some banking... so ya.. i drove her to her friend's place but 1st stop is to bank in money.. cause dad's business come 1st.. =p

after driving my sis to her friend's house n pass the item... send her back to her home.. ma fan sia she.. wanna buy egg... so drop her at junction... so dangerous... thn i drove back to woodlands n meet up the those who went singing... best part... i didnt do any singing... i just go n slp.. i need to pay!!! for FREAK?!?!?! but nvm.. i claim back my money already.. haha!!! Thanks dude who transfer me the money! haha!! but anw... the carpark also another ex 1... $2.15 CB!!! so EX!!! thn went to EXPO pick up my Honey.. or ex honey?? Hmm.. dun rmb le.. haha.. never call her honey le... but ya.. drove her back from expo.. haha... went to lot1 to slack abit... whn i enter lot1... i was thinking to myself... 'For wad i drive to lot1?? for wad sia?!?!?!?' went to pasta mania to eat pizza.. haha!!! ya... 2 of us only.. the rest went to kfc... talked abit of some stuff... haha...too sensitive to post it here... but ya... she veri lor sor.. her story will sometimes repeat itself...

after we have eaten... we r off to go home.. cause i need to be home by 10... promise my mum tt... went to top up my petrol abit... already so poor... but i saw my ex classmate working at the petrol station as cashier.. haha... both of us were shocked to see each other.. didnt expect to see each other at there... haha.. me the driver, she the 1 helping me to top up my petrol.. haha!!! actually she's the cashier la.. but close.. haha.. ya thn drove her back home... did i mention the exit price of lot1?? $2!!! WTF!!! 1day i spend $7 in parking!!! ARGHHH!!!!! total spend on car 1 day is $45!!! wad the!!!! n i'm already broke...ARGHHH!! next time need to put meter in my car liao...

today was suppose to mug at home.. but then... ya la.. ppl jio me out for dinner... so went for dinner with 'Brothers' picked up 3 other of them... then the rest in another car.. mine is standard few.. so ya... haha.. ya went to science center to eat... how cool issit.. haha.. sakura.. ya.. the all u can eat buffet.. haha... had alot of fun there... it was to celebrate 2 bro's birthday... haha... so ya.. 1 cake settle it all... so funny...

oh.. thn i drove 1 kuku to zouk... cause me to burn more petrol... Zzz my car petrol really limited sia... scary sia whn drive... petrol really no cheap... anw he owes me $20 for topup petrol.. so nvm.. will claim from him... muhahaha... alot of ppl still owe me money anw.. oh well... now i know y i so poor.. ppl keep owe-ing me money... zzzz if i can strike 1 big 1... i'll be so happy!!! haha!!! but.. nah... i dun gamble... haha... so it's off the idea... i wanna find a job... dun know wad can i work as anw... need a job badly... real badly...

ARGHH!!! I MUST FORCE MYSELF TO MUG liao... only 2days left b4 1st paper.. MUG!! MUG MUG!!! NEED TO MUG HARD!!!

bored

2008-06-18T00:10:00.002+08:00

gotta work..but no motivation to do so.. tml having revision classes.. dun know wanna attend or not... 4pm to 6pm...Zzz... the hw given also not complete.. fnish question1 only... Zzz yeah 3question only.. haven count in the sub-question... 1a, b, c, d, e...2a, b, c, d, e... n goes on... arghh!!

totally cannot find the mood to kick myself to start on the work.. I'm still in my slping mood.. (i always do..) I'm like so gona be dead... MST in less thn 1 week time... Zzzz oh kenny.. wad have u been doing all this while... gotta stop all the supper thingy already.. driving is bad for health... cause u'll drive urself out for supper n come back to slp... so unhealthy... all the fatty stuff... making 1 grow fatter.. damn... i've gotta stop myself from traveling out at nite.. no more nite driving at all...

Damn.. i've really gotta study... 3written papers, 1 practical... wad the hack... i'm still slacking... Zzz blog hopping.. disturbing my honeys.. reading others blog.. looking at others photos.. damn... i've gotta hide my lappy somewhere i cant find... in addition dad will be traveling overseas for the next 4days... Full access usage of the car... but NO! I'm NOT GOING TO DRIVE MYSELF TO SCH! NO WAY!!! NO NO... It's a bad choice to drive to sch... NO way I'm gona do it.. I'll take public transport to sch.. n hell yeah it will be... only urgent matters i'll then drive... if not... NO WAY i'm using the car... (irony.. I'm telling ppl i can use car... )

oh man... i really cant get over it at all.. wad is wrong with me... she doesnt even care... so wad if u were suffering anw?? not tt as if she will come n say "plz dun hurt urself anymore.. it hurts to see u like this.." wad the hack... i'm really dreaming... i cant snap myself back to the real world at all.. i really wish she had accepted me...

study week

2008-06-16T21:47:00.002+08:00

Yesh this week is study week... suppose to start my work today... but i only start with 1 question... like woah... so much work is done... n so much more to go... Zzz... Chiong all the way~~~

Today did my thermo question... yeah afew la... not just 1 only... n really few... cause got ppl jio me to watch The Hulk! woohoo!! it rox!! so cool... damn cool... gd effect.. but storyline abit sux.. oh well... it's hulk..no speak de... all muscle nia... haha!!! bam bam~! slam slam~ haha...

ok went to Singpost to post letter to China for my honey... as promise to send her the Video took for concert... Bare with it honey.. it will be there soon i hope... haha... my dad told me it will take 1-2 weeks.. so dun know... haha... u still have so many weeks left... so nvm la... =p i know u miss me alot... while making my way to singpost i saw some1 i never met for a long time or should i say seen... it has almost been 2yrs? or issit 1? i dun really rmb whn was the last time i saw her.. but nth much has change about her... still so... words cant just describe her... u can only drop ur jaws... haha... kua zhang... but yeah... only drop ur jaws... never really said hi.. just walk pass each other.. dun think she rmb me anw.. haha.. was a nobody in sch anw...

At singpost..i was shock... so many ppl wanna post letter meh... cause the queue wad FREAKING LONG!!! thn i saw another line... letter n postage... oh... it's another line... no ppl de.. Zzz then haha... went up to post my parcel... not cheap leh.. $2 plus.. haha... but nvm la... for honey.. it's okie... but it will be slower... cause i go for normal... haha... not airmail... so ya lor.. normal price ma.... thn went to check if i can change my plan... cant change until i've obtain my ownership.. so just have to bare with it... thn i went home lor... got studies to chiong... reach home clean up my room abit... thn when i finally settle down to do my revision... tt phone of mine ring... yeah.. ppl jio me for movie... FOC... go lor... haha...y bother man...work can never be finish... so hack la... bring my other notes out to do abit of reading... haha...

while on my way back to lot1.. i saw the super attitude teacher i ever met... yeah... never taught me...but super guai lan sia... ya she's part of the band teacher i/c... 1 of the few i'm kinda close with... super attitude sia... see me 1st thing not hi... is "Go where?" in hokkien... Zzz tt's how close we r.. lolx.. thn i saw watch moive lor... reply? "SO FREE???" in hokkien also... haha.. yeah... thy love to talk hokkien to me... dun know y.. but ya... i'm free! haha... =X

yeah thn met up with js.. not long ago b4 we met again but ya... he jio me for movie... how can i reject a free moive.. but we both went to explore the newly renovated but not complete lot1... haha.. crap abit... thn saw michelle... shocked... cause i thought who so bu zi liang li come diao me.. haha... thn ya... same old comment... ppl always talk about my hair... so i'm kinda used to it already... so i wont comment much... n yeah to the whole world... KENNY IS GROWING LONG HAIR!!! haha...

anw... Hulk is cool... GrrrArr!!! "You don't like me when I'm Angry."

HAHA~~

3cheers to the man!!

2008-06-16T02:16:00.002+08:00

woohoo!! 3 Cheers to the man of the house!!! hip hip huray!!! yahooo!! it's done... complete... A-OK-IE!! KSB concert video is done... I've successfully convert it into DVD format... ^^ yahoo... love myself.. cant believe myself... i can complete it in less then 2days...

y?? cause my bro's wedding video took me 1mth to finish... Zzz all the editing n cutting...can drive me crazy... somemore is 4cd... pengZ!

this time only 1! yeah!! 2hrs long concert 1 DVD... without much effect actually.. cause my camera man sux... never do much zooming in... wad a noob... but better then nth... at least there's recording from the alumni... hahaha!!! not bad huh cause i'm the man!!! woohooo!!!!

so proud of myself... not because of the video... but because i've another honey!! haha!! woo.. how cool issit... ^^ another collection.. haha!!! so many honey collection... this bee is really busy.. haha!!!

101 post about ksb concert...

2008-06-14T14:39:00.002+08:00

ever since i changed my new url.. this is my 101 post.. wow... n it will be about ksb wind de brassion 2... how cool is tt..

it has been 2yrs since wind de brassion.. now part 2... no change... there's still singing.. showcasing of sec1... n pieces from syf... kinda standard... haha...

did i enjoy myself during the concert? yes n no... yes? cause i get see her... yeah? dun know la.. kinda mao dun.. i've to act as if nth has happen but deep inside i'm screaming out loud... still have to keep my cool... arghhh... n the most irritating part is... argh.. forget it... dun wanna comment much about it...

y i didnt enjoy the concert??? simple.. lorry didnt come on time... members arent helping to load n unload instruments... things were all over the place... super irritated with it... the leaders? shall not comment as promised not to over run them... the old batches r to keep quiet n keep it to themselves only...

the best part of the whole concert?? the presentation of flowers... haha... being the representative of the kranji alumni band... i present a Bear to our dearest conductor.. the bear has a suit tt looks like wad he was wearing totally... haha... black suit... instead it was a silver tie... darn.. forgot to take photo of the bear... but it was cute totally! ppl even said it look like sir... HAHA!!! well tt's the whole purpose... he's like a bear to us... ^^

will the alumni be visiting back ksb anytime soon?? not sure at all... all of us r busy with our own stuff already... sch's reopening soon... work load will be pouring again... n non-stop... this holiday my work isnt done yet also... still have video to edit.. Zzzz so tired actually.. already broke my own limit of the past... running up n down places taking charge of things which arent suppose to do so... this is crap... the word O-P is just a crap come to think of it... if not for the sake of sir n reputation of band... we wont even bother to do so actually... how can we ever let our hard work go into drain at all?? each batches has their own history to tell... wad will this be?

so hard to ask for...

2008-06-07T22:52:00.003+08:00

issit so hard?? just by going out.. catch a moive? how hard or how much time can it take? so the reason given is busy... no break at all?? issit me or issit the world? how hard can it be by just taking 2hrs of ur time off? ok maybe more then tt but it wont kill rite? totally no break at all?? it's life huh... this is how it's suppose to be anw.. i'm lost of words then.. i'm not the 1 running away... in another words, i'm not given a chance at all...

nuts

2008-06-04T23:31:00.002+08:00

my next love rite now is 1 my neck pillow n tea black with ice...

neck pillow.. i slp like almost anywhere... sofa, edge of my bed... on my study table... etc... it's on my neck all the time... haha.. once i reach home.. 1st thing i'll put on my neck pillow... in deep love with it...

tea black (with ice) aka tea with sugar only.. or sometimes without... it sometime keeps me awake.. but at times i just slp after drinking it...

i wish i'm traveling overseas rite now... taking a real break... if u say God's fair... i dun think so... wad gd do we gain after putting so much effort... teachers doesnt really appreciate much, members taking it for granted tt we help... oh my... if this is the payback God's talking about... i rather be the 1 watching ppl die... thn to suffer with them...

Tired.. lucky thing...tml is rest day... a break.. real break...

free but so hard to choose...

2008-06-03T22:28:00.002+08:00

ok... this time is off the band stuff... need to take some break from it also...

so confused now... ive 2 free tickets to visit the zoo... n i've no idea who to accompany me go... should i ask her along? or should i not? oh well... even if i asked... it will be so weird.. dun ask? so i go alone... letting it be a break... looking at animals like HAHA!! "hey tt's a monkey!" Zzz...

sometimes things tt come in 2 doesnt always seems gd whn u r single... u have no idea who to bring along... ur brothers?? u have like 8-9 of them... n u only have 2 tickets... how?? *roll eyes*

sometime life just sux... for no reason it just sux... y?? already say le.. no reason... it just sux... visiting the zoo might actually help relax myself... i'll be thinking y aint i like the hippo... swimming in waste whole day... open ur mouth n u r fed.. how great... or like the tiger... lying ard... waiting for food to come... man... life is sometimes so tiring u just wanna end it asap.. but at the same time... it's so beautiful... how to view it anw?? still trying to figure out... being single.. gd or bad? both... tt's my answer...

it's my holiday... n i dun feel like having holiday at all... i'm just as stress as i'm in sch... nope... i'm not gona talk about band at all today... no bandies stuff... I'm tiredd

Real Tiredd...

so dead

2008-06-01T21:55:00.002+08:00

since limits has been broke... n boss is going overseas this coming week... it's time to sink the urgency into the thick skull of u guys... u dun know wad i've install for u ppl.. since boss not ard... teachers cant do much to stop us... oh ho... u r all ready to have some fun? cause i've prepared so many fun games for u ppl... HAHA!!! reporting time will be push forward... if u r late, u r dead... so be prepared...

Guest n alumni list r ready n gona finalize it soon... once it's confirm. no names will be removed or added in.. if there's any joker who wanna play prank... u better play it now while u still can... once the name is summited... u better jolly well perform for the concert...if not i'll personally screw u inside out 1st...

since this coming tues practice wont be able to have full band n sectional will be limited.. i've so much things in my head tt no matter wad u guys will still suffer under my hand... HAHA!!!! cause members hate me for this... ^^ oh i love the feeling of being hated... this feels so GREAT!!!!

never had this happen

2008-05-28T23:25:00.002+08:00

never in my years of serving band have i ever felt so fucking stress... yesh... i'm spelling it out loud.. Fucking Stress!!! super pissed off with stuff also... never in my years with band experience have i felt like this... this is totally off the normal limit value i can take... this time round is totally off the set already...

performance for the concert... ppl not confirm...asked if thy wanna perform...giving a fucking 'dunno' will super piss ppl off... WANT to play play la... wad's the fuss about it?? commitment? if cannot thn say cannot la... how hard can it be?? cannot come for practices just say... if u wanna perform u were a musician before... u should know wad to do... practice urself at home then... how the fuck hard can it be??? this is fucking pissing ppl off...

let's not talk about players...cause the playing already sucks! I/C for the event... how shall i comment... oh...so guest, alumni have to groom themselves huh... since whn issit a problem about alumni's grooming??? wad the hack man... i wanna grow long hair does it ever concern u?? as if u r my father... my dad never even care much about my hair... wad the hack... asking alumni to do so nvm... Guest player also??? HELLO?? thy r not ur student... thy r invited ppl to come n help ur SCHOOL... incase it doesnt get into ur thick skull... HELP?? H-E-L-P! must i spell it out loud for u??? Help ur students to make it for the concert... backing u idiots up... this is freaking driving me nuts... since whn u see me so pissed off before??? argh!! Kenny is freaking fucking angry with the system... expect help n never actually give back anything... Wad the... Y should we give in anw?? cut my hair? NO Chance IN HELL!! yeah read my lips... "NO CHANCE.."

since my limits has already been broken... wad crap can u throw to me more? believe me... i'll return it back twice as hard... n i mean wad i say....

a moment or forever?

2008-05-25T21:49:00.002+08:00

was it just for that moment? or was it meant to be forever?? have i met my destiny already?? is she really the 1?? or issit just a crush? i'm still confused actually... but oh well... wad's urs will be urs, wad isnt, isnt meant to be urs then... walking alone isnt tt bad at all... just tt u have a longer quiet time then normal ppl...much longer then usual... wonder wad will happen if suddenly ppl pop into my life... will i b so busy tt i dun have time for myself?? nth can be known until it actually happen... so shall just let nature take it's course....

FINALLY!! the Card is here!!! I can dun need to live with tt piece of paper anymore!!! yesh.. my driving license card is here... the more i look at the photo i wonder... wad's the different sia... only 1yr i got change so much meh... it's the same photo i use for my passport... so funny lor... wad's the problem sia... haven see my IC only... more different arx!! bleahh!!!

had been driving dad's car for a few weekends already... the problem i'm facing will be parking, going to a specific destination, speeding... haha... ya... think only this 3 problem...haha!!! but i've no problem going back home... y? home is so important to me ok...i need my slp at home!!! haha!!! so if u wan me to go to a specific location it will either take me 1hr or longer.. haha!!! depending on if i've been to tt location b4 or not... lolx... well.. walking n driving is different ok...if u walk wrong u just turn n walk back... driving...u turn wrong means u tio F*** already... 1 big U-turn liao... so to those gona learn driving... master ur U-turn...u'll used it almost everytime if u r like me... haha!!! oh not forgetting 3point turn...also important... haha!!!

driving my dad's car give me 3 stress... kena bump by ppl, i bump ppl, forgot to lock car... Zzz...i'm a forgetful type person.. tt's y it worries me so much... but my hair wont turn white dun know y.. haha!!!